Overheard in PDX

Video Trailer: The Three Gifts of the Magi - SCI-FI for SC11

2011-11-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

This "story trailer" video previews The Three Gifts of the Magi, a new SCI-FI original by Rich Brueckner that appears in the Print 'n Fly Guide to SC11 Seattle.

This is the continuing story of The Three Magi of Katrina, a science fiction story set in New Orleans at SC30.

Tagline: Released from prison, a convicted assassin races to SC31 in Seattle to find the Artificial Intelligence known as Adom.

Update: You can now read the story online.

The Print 'n Fly Guide to SC11 Seattle is now available. Download the PDF (15 Mbytes). If your IT crowd blocks Dropbox, please Download here.

Awesomeness

2011-11-12T14:36:00.001-08:00

"Hey, I think I'm going to start a parody twitter account for my beard."

- Downtown
-- Overheard by Alanapete

War Time

2011-10-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

Man browsing in the Military History section: So much war, so little time...

- At the Friends of the Library sale
-- Overheard by Daniel

Bear bottoms

2011-10-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

Girl 1: Do you think these would make good bottoms for a bear costume?
Girl 2: Well, they're snakeskin, soooo.....
Girl 1, a few minutes later: Look, I'm a snear!

- Buffalo Exchange, Hawthorne
-- Overheard by Sky Rocketship

Pop Rocks

2011-10-10T18:20:00.000-07:00

On the #15 bus, there was one wasted guy who smashed his foot and another guy and a chick.

Guy 1 with the bag of candy: Pop rocks are so good.
Guy 2: - Did you ever get a blow job when the girl had pop rocks in her mouth?
Girl: Oh we should save some for later.
Guy 1: No did you?
Guy 2: No heard it was awesome though.
Guy 1: Here, have the rest.

- Overheard by Sarah

Bull-proof

2011-09-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

Unhealthy-looking larger women to her friend while holding a Venti: You know, coffee doesn't do anything to me anymore. Neither does Red Bull or any other kind of energy drinks."
Her friend: Head nodding.

- Starbucks
-- Overheard by Corey, who writes: "Uhhh, Maybe it's time to take a break."

Capitalism

2011-08-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

Walking past the homeless shelter on 2nd and Burnside with a pink box:

Homeless guy 1: Hey, can I have a donut?
Homeless guy 2: Can I bum a donut?
Homeless guy 3: Spare a cigarette?
Homeless guy 4: Aaah! Homeless attack! Capitalism has taken its toll!

- Overheard by Cegan

Spyce Girl

2011-08-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

Dancer from Spyce getting on the MAX at Couch & 5th: I'm tellin' y'all.. I really need to pee! I had 17 drinks & I didn't pay for any of them! I really need to tinkle!

(She then proceeded to bond with a creepy dude in the back. He told her the Carl's Jr. was still open for her to find a bathroom. They got off a stop later, prompting this conversation...

My friend Nikki: She seemed nice -- I hope she finds a bathroom.
Me: I think that's where he took her.
Nikki: *disbelieving stare* That's not where he took her.
Me: ...but I'm sure he'll take her somewhere to pee, first... right?

By the end, the guy in front of us wasn't even hiding that he was staring at us listening to this conversation.

Video: Cat Stories II at Joe's Cellar

2011-08-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

In this video, Portland people tell their tales at the Cat Stories II Open Mic Event. Recorded Aug. 20, 2011 at Joe's Celllar.

The text from my story, The Friends of the Fallen is posted online.

Girl sports

2011-08-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

Softball Girl: What other sports do girls play?

Softball guy: I think whatever they want. It's an equal opportunity world now.

Softball girl: I guess you're right....

- Normendale Park in NE
-- Overheard by Brandon

Not on our team

2011-08-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

Young male 1: I dated this girl in freshman year that turned out to be a
lesbian.
Young male 2: Aw, dude.
Young male 1: She was hot though.
Young male 2: They usually are.

- On the #15 bus
-- Overheard by Heather

Cat Stories II: Saturday, August 20 at Joe's Cellar

2011-07-31T09:58:00.001-07:00

The Cat Stories II Open Mic Event takes place on Saturday, August 20 at 10:30am at Joe's Cellar in Portland.

We need your stories!
Got a great story about cats? Get up on stage and tell your tale while the Cherry Apple Bug band performs a musical accompaniment.

Ankle Bracelet

2011-07-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

Woman: So can you go or not?

Man: Chuckie Cheese is no problem, but I can't visit a school. I'm down with that.

- Muu-Muus
-- Overheard by Rich

Video: Cat Stories Presents: Dating Stories

2011-07-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

In this video, Cat Stories presents the Dating Stories open mic event. Recorded July 23, 2011 at Joe's Cellar in Portland, Oregon.

Video: Motorboat in PDX

2011-07-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

Nice to see you too, Todd!

Video: Ninja plays at the Webbers BBQ, NW PDX July 16

2011-07-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

The 16th Annual Webbers BBQ happens Saturday, July 16 from 1:00-9:30pm in NW Portland. Four cans of food gets you BBQ, Beer, and live music from great bands like Ninja and Will West.

Bring a blanket or something to sit on. No pets, please.

James Joyce

2011-07-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Guy: I'm the James Joyce of texting.

- Muu-Muus
-- Overheard by Rich

Nyaaagh!

2011-07-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

On the corner of SW Yamhill and Broadway, a young woman is trying to engage passersby.

Woman: Hi there! What are you doing today?

Older man: I'm trying to get back into college. What are you doing?

Woman: I'm just out here campaigning for gay rights.

Older man: Gay rights?! Nyaaagh! Get your own state!! Nyaaagh!

(He continued down the sidewalk, very agitated, periodically grunting "Nyaagh!")

- Overheard by PAgent

Vajay-J

2011-07-12T07:27:00.001-07:00

Preppy teen girl 1: Can we all walk as a group so we don't fucking
lose everyone?!
Preppy teen girl 2: I'm so afraid I'm gonna see a vagina really soon.

- At OCF Sunday
-- Overheard by Sky Rocket

Sam Adams at Trek in the Park

2011-07-10T16:51:00.000-07:00

In this video, Portland Mayor Sam Adams reads a proclamation that July 2011 is Trek in the Park Month. Recorded at Portland's Woodlawn Park on July 9, 2011.

The proclamation is followed by the opening scene of Atomics Arts production of "Mirror, Mirror" a Star Trek original series episode where Kirk and his landing party visit an alternate universe where the Enterprise is an instrument of tyranny.

Cat Stories presents Dating Stories July 23 at Joe's Cellar

2011-07-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

Cat Stories presents the Dating Stories Open Mic event on Saturday, July 23 at 10:00am at Joe's Cellar.

We need your stories!
Got a great dating story? Get up on stage and tell your tale while the Cherry Apple Bug band performs a musical accompaniment.

Mechanical Arm

2011-07-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

Heard this while passing people on the stairs at "3 Monkeys," on NW 23rd:

"Maybe someone has a mechanical arm, but it's made out of brass!"

- Overheard by Nicole, who writes: "Oh, Portland. My friend Hayley guesses they were talking about steampunk. I was just amused."

All Female Artists Showcase, Friday, July 8, 2011

2011-07-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

All Female Artists Showcase
Friday, July 8, 2011
6:00pm - 9:00pm

FAB PDX Art Space
1317 SE 9th Street

This showcase will be celebrating over 20 different female artists in Portland. All ages are welcome!

"The Candy Bus" https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chalk-let-Candy-Bus/180005002034514 will be on location and selling candy and special treats. This traveling candy store can be found on 33rd and Hawthorne during regular opening hours, but we are lucky enough to have The Candy Bus come to our all female showcase.

Savor Cakes, www.savorcakes.com will also be at the event providing delicious savory cupcakes. A savor cake is a savory meal that looks like a cupcake but it’s savory instead of sweet! Instead of cake we use biscuits, croissants or pizza dough, mixed with fresh and local ingredients. Then we bake it all up in a cupcake tin so you can enjoy a hearty, delicious meal on the go!

Jamie Hopkins of "Imagination Yoga" http://www.imaginationyogausa.com/ will also be offering a free children yoga session in our graffiti alley from 6:30pm to 7pm. All ages of kids are welcome to join in this lesson. Imagination Yoga is a new and upcoming program that gives the child, as well as the teacher, a chance to take a break from the outside world and come into a place of relaxation, movement, imagination and joy. Yoga mats will be provided but if you have your own feel free to bring it with you.

Courtney Piper of Red Tent Doula: holistic care for the childbearing years and beyond, will be at the show providing information on gentle birth practices.

Every woman deserves loving care during her pregnancy and labor. Studies show that having a qualified doula at your side reduces the need for interventions and unwanted cesarean section by 50%. Birth is an empowering and beautiful experience, every woman, man and child can benefit from the profound benefits of a loving and gentle birth experience. Give yourself and baby the best start possible, do your research, ask around and find the perfect care providers for you and your family. Birth Matters .

Fab Pdx and Mercy Mcnab are extremely excited to celebrate the works of these talented female artists. There will be a bar selling wine and beer and light refreshments will be provided. All art will be available for purchase and can be purchased with cash or credit cards the night of the reception. If you are unable to make the event, the work will be up for 3 weeks and available to buy all month long. Come out and see what the ladies of Portland have been producing in this amazing city. Hope to see all of you there!

Here are the artists that will have work up at the event:

Kayenne Garfalo
Julie Tillman
Trina Hesson
Alison Beebe
Kendra Sparks
Cotton Candy Punk
Enaya Jane
Samantha Cimino
Marisa Green
Christine McKernan "The Candy Bus"
Julie Forbush
Kelly Clifton
Alli Bratt
Jenna Genio
Jessica Van Stappen
Dawn Tappen
Noelle Barce
Heather Steele
Imagination Yoga
and a few more surprise artists..........

ART FOR LIFE!

Hanging Out

2011-07-05T17:36:00.000-07:00

Woman yelling into cell while walking quickly: I don't even hang out with my boyfriend! I hang out with my dog!

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Phil

Go the F*ck to Sleep

2011-07-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

Go the Fuck to Sleep is a new potty-mouthed children’s book written by Adam Mansbach full of truth at one of parenting’s great frustrations, trying to get your children to fall asleep. The sense of humour is as wicked as the language and immediately became my favourite children’s book! To help give you an idea of the book, here is Samuel L. Jackson reading it from an Audible audiobook recording.

Go the Fuck to Sleep (PDF) (1.6 MB)

Video: The Guardian's End, a short story

2011-06-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

In this video, I read my latest short story, The Guardian's End. Recorded at the Famous People Stories open mic event on June 25, 2011. The full text is online at Flex-Rex.com.

Video: Famous People Stories Live from Joe's Cellar June 25, 2011

2011-06-29T17:40:00.001-07:00

Cat Stories presents Famous People Stories Live June 25, 2011.

The Meat Man

2011-06-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

Punk rocker chick 1: I didn't know people went door to door selling meat.

Punk rocker chick 2: Yeah, someone told me The Meat Man came up to their door, and I was like, dude, ew...

- In front of my apartment building
-- Overheard by Dylan.

Slacker

2011-06-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hipster dude, while eating a salmon & cracker appetizer and drinking a beer: So I'm trying to get food stamps because I got fired from my job...

Later, same guy: "So is everyone tipping? Because I can't afford to tip."

- At a bistro in SE last night
-- Overheard by notmyname

Cat Stories Presents: Famous People Stories June 25 at Joe's Cellar

2011-06-17T01:30:00.000-07:00

Cat Stories Productions presents: Famous People Stories on Saturday, June 25 at 10:00am at Joe's Cellar.

We need your stories!
Got a story about when you came across someone famous? Get up on stage and tell your tale while the band performs a musical accompaniment.

Tree Hugger

2011-06-17T01:26:00.000-07:00

Mother to little boy: Hug a tree! Hug a tree! Be a tree hugger! Hug a tree! ... That's not a tree!

- In front of the Grocery Outlet at SE Flavel and 72nd
-- Overheard by Donna

Do it again

2011-06-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

Younger lady to drunken older man: I want you to go home. Go home and pass out. Tomorrow get up and do it all over again. And for the love of God, go buy some cat food.

- Walking down NW 21st @ 2:30 in the morning
-- Overheard by Vera

Moonwoods Event June 24

2011-06-06T16:16:00.000-07:00

Our friends at Moonwoods are hosting a gallery event on Friday, June 24 at 5:00-10:00pm. Check out the works of local designers and enjoy a beverage in the NW Industrial District.

Leave trouser bulges to the boys

2011-06-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Location: Jiggles Strip Club & Juice Bar (it seriously is a juice bar)

I'm in a stall in the girls bathroom @ Jiggles (bad idea), and two strippers (employees, dancers, whatever) are in the other two stalls.

Stripper 1: Yea, but I didn't want to tell him I was on my period, so we just had sex with it still in.
Stripper 2: Your tampon!?
Stripper 1: Yea. Dude, it feels REALLY good with a tampon in.
Stripper 2: Oh I know!

As I emerge from the stall, quickly...they walk out of their stalls at the same time.

Both Strippers at same time to me: Oh hey sweetie!

- Overheard by Sarah

Hipsters

2011-06-06T13:08:00.000-07:00

Hipster girl to hipster friend: "I just want to be, like, really hot."

- Little T Bakery
-- Overheard by Kristen

Chronic

2011-06-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

"I can probably score us a fat hit of chronic, and it’s all good if we get the munchies cuz I get my food stamps on Friday."

- Beaverton Max Station
-- Overheard by Kyle

Video: Seven Meals from Chaos

2011-05-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

In this video, I read my short story "Seven Meals from Chaos." Recorded at the First Time Stories at Joe's Cellar, May 21, 2011.

Read the full text: http://flexrex.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/seven-meals-from-chaos-2/

Video: First Time Stories at Joe's Cellar, May 21, 2011

2011-05-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

In this video, Portland people tell First Time Stories at Joe's Cellar, May 21, 2011.

Blunt Advice

2011-05-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

"I told her, 'I don't smoke nobody's shit that's already rolled up'"

- on the MAX
-- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

The "First Time" Stories, May 21 at Joe's Cellar

2011-05-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

Cat Stories Productions will present "The First Time Stories" at 10:00am, May 21 at Joe's Cellar.

FIRST TIME STORIES
TIME: 10:00am
DATE: Saturday, May 21, 2011
PLACE: Joe's Cellar, 1332 Northwest 21st Avenue, Portland

We need your stories!
Got a story about the First Time you did something? Get up on stage and tell your tale while the Snow Snakes band performs a musical accompaniment.

The Bus - gateway to harder commutes

2011-05-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

"Southwest Hamilton Street and Barbur Boulevard. Transfer to other buzz lines."

- Automated digital voice on the PA, #54 bus, approaching a stop that serves many other routes.

-- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

Ripped City Blazin'

2011-05-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Rose Garden Concourse, following 97-92 win over Dallas, April 21, shuffling en masse toward the exits:

Crowd chanting in unison: Let's go Blazers! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) Let's go Blazers! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Nearby fan #1 chanting in sync: Let's go faster! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) Let's go faster! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Nearby fan #2 chanting in sync: I smell po-ot! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) I smell po-ot! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

Ghosts of the Indian Herb

2011-04-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

In this video, I read my latest story: Ghosts of the Indian Herb. Recorded at the GHOST STORIES Open Mic event at Joe's Cellar in Portland on April 16, 2011.

Ghost Stories: Live from Joe's Cellar

2011-04-16T13:46:00.000-07:00

This video is the full program of the GHOST STORIES event. Fun was had by all. Recorded at Joe's Cellar in Portland on April 16, 2011 at GHOST STORIES, an Open Mic event.

Anomolee at the Poetry Slam

2011-04-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

In this video, Anomolee performs at the Backspace Poetry Slam on April 10, 2011 in Portland.

Ghost Stories: 10:00am Saturday, April 16th at Joe's Cellar

2011-04-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

The folks who brought you Cat Stories a few weeks ago are proud to announce the sequel event:

GHOST STORIES
TIME: 10:00am
DATE: Saturday, April 16th
PLACE: Joe's Cellar, 1332 Northwest 21st Avenue, Portland

We need your stories!
Got a ghost story? Get up on stage and tell your tale while the band performs a musical accompaniment.

Fahrenheit 451

2011-04-05T16:20:00.000-07:00

Office worker #1: I'll take your newspaper for my fireplace again.

Office worker #2: You like to build fires, don't you?

Office worker #1: Yeah, I love my fireplace. I'm thinking about buying some wood.

- Financial Institution Call Center

-- Overheard by Deb

Manwich

2011-04-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

Well to do woman walks out of St. Honore' bakery on NW Thurman.

Hipster street kid: Hey can you spare any change?

Well to do woman: No, but you can have my leftover croissant. [which runs about $4]

Hipster street kid: No way, I'm vegan.

- Overheard by Tom

Couch surfer

2011-03-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

Chad 1: Dude, I didn't wake you up last night when I came home did I?
Chad 2: Only a little bit.
Chad 1 takes long drag from Venti Starbucks.
Chad 2: So dude, who was that girl on the couch this morning?
Chad 1: I have no idea.
Chad 2: Nice.

- In line at Zupans
--Overheard by Amie

Texting

2011-03-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

Woman #1: So he cheated on you... What is it you like about this guy?
Woman #2: Our texting. We can go back and forth for like hours and hours!

- Muu Muus
-- Overheard by Rich

Guns and Smartphones

2011-03-11T13:43:00.000-08:00

Woman to group of men: We're a modern family. My nephew just got a .22 shotgun and an iPhone for his birthday.

- Nob Hill Pub

-- Overheard by Rich, who writes: "I don't know which is funnier: the notion of a .22 caliber shotgun or that kind of combo present for a kid."

Attitude-free

2011-03-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

Angry woman on the phone: I don't have an attitude! I'm saying it's okay you want to be an asshole!

- On the Max
-- Overheard by Libby

It Is Ironic, Isn't It?

2011-03-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

Group of teenage girls having an energetic conversation: You see why I don't get irony? It's cause of that song!"

- Overheard by Libby, who writes: "It's ironic because the only thing ironic about that song is that nothing in it is actually ironic."

Rich writes: "Hadn't heard it for years, but I played Alanis today and damn, that's good stuff!"

Knuckles

2011-02-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Lady: What is wrong with your knuckles?

Teenager: What? There is nothing wrong with them.

Lady: Yea, they are all red and banged up. Look, look at my knuckles. Mine don't look like that. Well you could see them if I wasn't so fat. But they are there.

- Sweet Tomatoes
-- Overheard by Gerald

Cat Stories: Come Tell Your Tale March 19, 2011

2011-02-21T12:15:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: In this podcast, I interview Phil Farrell from Smell Mop on the upcoming Cat Stories show. Download the MP3.

Here's a place where you will undoubtedly overhear some weird stuff:

The band known as Smell Mop will present Cat Stories, a live interactive performance on Saturday, March 19 at 9:30am at Joe's Cellar, 1332 Northwest 21st Avenue in Portland.

Cat lovers are invited to get up on stage and tell a story about their favorite pet while the band performs a musical accompaniment.

The truth hurts

2011-02-06T19:18:00.001-08:00

Earnest blonde discussing facelifts: She needed that lift. She told me, 'Oh, I didn't really need it,' but I told her..."

- Bread & Ink
-- Overheard by lauraf

Video: NUTZ

2011-02-06T12:48:00.000-08:00

In this film shot in Portland, a man wakes up from a dream of a squirrel apocalypse.

Produced by Honor System Snack Box.

Nerds

2011-01-22T13:18:00.000-08:00

Mother 1: So, for graduation, my daughter wanted a poster of some rock star named Julian Casablancas ... and a poster of Abraham Lincoln.
Mother 2: ...what a nerd!
Mother 1: I know, right!?

- At Townshend's Tea House
-- Overheard by Ansel

Fair use

2011-01-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Wannabe Musician: It's not like I'm stealing any music. I'm just borrowing the lyrics.

- Clackamas Fred Meyer
-- Overheard by Capt. Mobius

Party Naked

2011-01-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

Overheard while standing in the beer line at Cinema 21:

"Portland is just like any other city, only there's more alcohol and nudity."

- Overheard by Howard

Stateside

2011-01-21T16:15:00.000-08:00

On the max this morning, headed downtown, we got stuck on the bridge. People got bored, which is never good, because they start revealing things about themselves.

One ex-military to another: I was gonna go to Iraq before my ex-husband stabbed me in the side with a steak knife.

- Overheard by Christa

Give me an "A"

2011-01-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

Entrepreneur (to Angel): What is the startup scene like here in Portland?
Angel: It's like cheerleaders on crutches.

- Bye & Bye Kickstarter Meetup
-- Overheard by Rich

Dinosaurs

2011-01-17T09:40:00.000-08:00

A girl and a guy at a restaurant with toy dinosaurs. The girl is looking at the names of the dinosaurs printed on the bottoms:

Girl (reading): "Parasaurolophus."
Guy: That's a made-up dinosaur name.
Girl: They're all made-up.

- Laughing Planet on NW 10th
-- Overheard by Alex

All the single ladies

2011-01-13T08:49:00.000-08:00

3rd grade girl to another at the drinking fountain: So, are you single?

- At a North Portland elementary school
-- Overheard by Ellen

Contract with America

2011-01-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Woman at bar: I have a confession to make; When I was a waitress, I spit in Newt Gingrich's salad.

- Muu Muus
-- Overheard by Rich

Sausage Love

2011-01-08T11:39:00.000-08:00

Three girls headed to Rontoms on a Friday night

Girl #1: I LOVE sausage and pie. Together.
Girl #2: I know what you mean.
Girl #3: Yeah

- Overheard by Porte

Higher Education

2011-01-07T11:09:00.000-08:00

Hipster #1, coming to a sudden realization: Is everyone at this table applying for grad school?

- Utopia Cafe
-- Overhead by lauraf

Suction him

2010-12-31T12:47:00.000-08:00

Leaving the ER, there are two women in scrubs walking towards me.

Woman 1: So I said someone better get in there and suction him before he dies...

Woman 2: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Woman 1: ... because I sure ain't gonna do it!

- Local hospital

Video: The Dream of the 90's is Alive in Portland

2010-12-26T11:49:00.001-08:00

It has been really quiet here, so I thought our readers might enjoy this video. Happy Holidays!

AARP Porn

2010-11-12T13:19:00.001-08:00

Gray-haired man: "Oh look, honey, it's Cinema 21."

Gray-haired woman: "Yes, that's where I saw Deep Throat."

- NW 21st and Irving
-- Overheard by Rich

2010-11-12T13:19:00.000-08:00

Flight of the Conchords

2010-10-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

You know, Flight of the Conchords - it's like Glee for hipsters.

- In my office
- Overheard by Emma

Virgin ghost

2010-10-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

Girl to her friends: Oh my god, if I died right now I would come back and haunt you until I wasn't a virgin anymore!

- Overheard by Zira

Sammich Newbie

2010-09-28T20:52:00.001-07:00

Food Cart Browser: Are Reubens vegetarian?

- Outside of Pastrami on Rye
-- Overheard by Dave

That Sam Adams

2010-08-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

Bitter old man: So they told you no more plastic bags?
Checker: No, I just came in one day and they were gone.
Bitter old man: That Sam Adams, (grumble chuckle grumble)
Checker: Actually, Fred Meyer decided on their own to stop using plastic bags.

Bitter old man: Well, you know, that Sam Adams, (grumble chuckle grumble)

- West Hollywood Fred Meyer
-- Overheard by Alex

California Dreaming

2010-08-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Douche Bag #1: How many strips clubs have you been to in California?
Douche Bag #2: I dunno, 4 or 5.
Douche Bag#1: And were the strippers hot?
Douche Bag #2: Most of them.
Douche Bag #1: Well prepare yourself, 'cause here the girls are WAY worse.

- Waiting for a bus on the corner of SW Burnside and 6th
-- Overheard by "T"

Delivery room

2010-08-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

Unseen woman in stall 1: I mean, if you're going to have a baby in a public bathroom, at least take it with you when you leave.

Unseen woman in stall 2: Right!

- Sweet Tomatoes restaurant bathroom (Clackamas)
-- Overheard by Jill

Antifast

2010-08-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

A Hipster gal riding her bike sans helmet, while smoking a cigarette, says to her friend, about Burgerville: ...An antifast food fast food place.

You're in the right city, guys

2010-08-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

Man to woman, sitting in the sun on the bar's patio drinking a beer: Just think -- if we lived in San Diego, we could do this every day.
Woman: If we had a baby sitter.
Man: And if we liked the sun.

- At the Moon and Sixpence
-- Overheard by Leila

Express Mail

2010-07-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

One bicyclist to another: Yeah, but would you TRUST a homing pigeon?

- In the Alberta area
-- Overheard by Raevyn

Academics

2010-07-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

Real phone conversation from a weird looking dude:
Guess what, your test is coming up in 2 days, and it will be 20% of your grade, I guess you're screwed. I am 39 years old, and you're 23. I'm all the way over this side of town, and you want me to head over to your house and help you with your test. Once I get there, we will be doing anything but studying. Your mother is 3 years older than I, and I'm doing this for her as a favor (really?). When I'm there, your mother is there too, she's going to think I'm a child molester!

- Right outside SuperDog’s Park store
-- Overheard by Ellen

Simply ageless

2010-07-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

Dad: That canvasser gave me the creeps. He had a lot of makeup on.

Kid: How come guys don't wear makeup?

Dad: We don't care what we look like.

- NW Trader Joes
-- Overheard by Rich

Wheelchair zone

2010-07-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

Guy on his cell phone repeating a conversation he had with someone else: He was like, no I'm not dating her. I'm married, but its ok since my wife is handicapped.

- Westbound Blue Line MAX
-- Overheard by Brian

Crisscross

2010-07-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

Homeless-smelling dude who always just talks and talks on the bus to no one in particular: Are you a Christopher Cross fan? You look like a Christopher Cross fan.

- #12 bus headed downtown
-- Overheard by Eric

Cranky

2010-07-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

Kid (to waitress): Are you cranky today?

- Stepping Stone
-- Overheard by Rich

Don't stop till you get enough

2010-07-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Woman 1: Why did Michael Jackson have to die? There's so many other people out there that coulda died!

Woman 2: Michael Jackson had to die cause he had a prescription drug addiction, and God don't like that.

- PCC
-- Overheard by Erin

Sharing

2010-07-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

Woman: (crying)

Man: Would you stop crying so I can fucking share.

- After a Timbers game
-- Overheard by Ellie

Religious restrictions

2010-06-26T16:54:00.001-07:00

Woman: Hey! You took your arm off my shoulders again!
Man: I'm sorry! I'm catholic...

- Overheard by Cecilia

bag

2010-06-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

Gal: You had me at "Bag of dicks."

- Muu Muu's
-- Overheard by Rich

The Man Show

2010-06-03T03:19:00.000-07:00

Guy: You know that woman's book "Eat, Pray, Love?" I'm writing a book about my own journey and I'm calling it: "Drink, Whore, Nap."

- PDX airport
-- Overheard by Rich

Is that so much to ask?

2010-05-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

Overheard at Kenton post office when Ace of Base's "All That She Wants" started playing behind two Boomer-aged male employees:

USPS Guy 1: All that she wants is another baby, Ken...

- Overheard by Jeff

real Starbucks?

2010-05-14T16:10:00.000-07:00

At a Starbucks inside a Safeway at SE 122nd and Glisan....

"Are you sure this is a real Starbucks? They don't even have CDs."

- Overheard by Christopher

Too much time to think

2010-05-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

Two teenagers talking in a yard:

Teenager 1: What do you think a parakeet would look like in a snowstorm?
Teenager 2: I don't know...angry and confused?

- Overheard by Victoria

Day at the races

2010-05-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

"Catherine the Great got fucked by a horse and SHE turned out okay!"

- NE PDX
-- Overheard by Meredith

Gummi Job

2010-05-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Little old lady (to teenager): Well the white Gummi Bears are better for sex anyway...

- Doctor's office waiting room
-- Overheard by Matt, who writes: "I wish I could have heard the rest of the conversation, before and after."

Randomness

2010-05-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Two women walking: What does Patrick Swayze have to do with the price of tea in China?

- 9th & Lloyd NE May 6, 2010 @ 3:45 p.m.
-- Overheard by Paulette

The right idea

2010-05-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

Kid pushing shopping cart, yields politely to senior citizen.

Kid: Old people first!

- Fred Meyer on Burnside
-- Overheard by Rich

When Kids don't watch TV

2010-05-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

Cycling past three youngsters climbing around on a porch. Saturday afternoon, near SE Trader Joe's:

Boy: Hey! Let's go ask people if they're hobos!

- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

She's sleeping in

2010-05-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

Woman: This pink lemonade isn't very strong.

Bartender: Oh, it's plenty strong. It's that tart flavor that makes it kind of sneaky.

Woman: No. I mean it needs more alcohol.

Bartender: Perhaps you have a drinking problem.

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Rich

Parts is parts

2010-05-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

Woman to friend: She had an extra liver.... I mean, an extra kidney.

- Outside cafe on Clinton Street
-- Overheard by Kristen