A convenient truth

Woman: "We have like, California weather in Seattle now. I like global warming!"

- Wallace Park

-- Overheard by Rich

Scootch over

Guy to Gal: "Can I ask you to scootch over?"

Gal: "Scootch? That's a great word!"

- Green Room

-- Overheard by Rich

Double-feature

Bartender: "I remember you two."

Woman #1: "Oh yeah. I flirted and then you tried to pick us both up."

Woman #2: "I'm the mean one."

- Cinetopia

-- Overheard by Rich

I'll have what she's having

Female patron: "Why can't I ever remember how many drinks I've had?"

Bartender: "Consistency is an underrated quality."

- Crow Bar

-- Overheard by Rich

There's no remote out there

Neighbor Grandma to her 6-year-old granddaughter: "Marissa, come outside with Grandma. You can help me in the garden. It's a beautiful day and I don't want you inside watching TV all day. Come out and play!"

Granddaughter wailing from inside of house: "But, Grandma! I don't know HOW to play outside!"

- Southeast

-- Overheard by MissKriss

Accessories no macho

Guy to Gal: "What's up with all the Man purses? That shit is fucked up!"

- Mississippi Pizza

-- Overheard by Rich

Worse than a rooster

Old Codger: "Damned Starbucks truck! It pulls up here every morning at 5:30 and honks his horn. People here are trying to sleep!"

- Pioneer Square

-- Overheard by Rich

Karma Police

Guy: "That red bracelet. Are you into Kabbalah?"

Gal: "Umm, I'm not really supposed to talk about it."

Guy: "I'm sorry. Is saying 'Kabbalah' like, bad Karma?"

(pauses) "Do they have Karma in Kabbalah?"

- Doug Fir

-- Overheard by Rich

Max Volume

Loud Child: "Why is the train going so slow, mommy?"
Mother: "Because you're screaming."

- On the Max

-- Overheard by Scot

At least they're not driving

Pissed Old Man #1: "Now my wife wants me to stop drinking!"

Confused Old Man #2: (Looking a bit lost) "Well maybe they should have thought about that before selling the RV!"

- On the Max

-- Overheard by Jay

One toke over the line

Speaker finishing his Legalize-it talk: "So Seattle, I want to thank you very much..."

- Walking by Portland's Hempstalk festival stage at Waterfront park

-- Overheard by Andrea & Brad

How proud your parents must be

Young man (speaking to a young pregnant woman): "I used to say I was sterile, then I impregnated two girls in one night!"

- Pioneer Square (where else?)

-- Overheard by Awkward Boy

Put it on lay-away

Girl #1 (In Massage Chair): "Do you think I could marry this thing?"

Girl #2 (Standing in front of her): "Maybe, but it would leave after you whored around with the shower massager."

- Pioneer Square inside of Sharper Image

-- Overheard by Jay

Intolerance

Man to woman: "Yeah, I'm intolerant of the intolerant" [pause] "sooo I guess that makes me intolerant."

- Max station, outside the Galleria

-- Overheard by Megan

Gluten Maximus

Lady: "Are any of your crusts gluten-free?"

Cashier: "I'm pretty sure they're all high in calories."

- Pizza Caboose in Tigard

-- Overheard by Jay

fish & rac

Man referring to Brooklyn restaurant: "...yeah it's totally racist, but the seafood is great."

- gym in NE Portland

-- Overheard by Brad

Rockstar Recount

Woman (to the TV): "That's bullshit! He's so ugly!"

- Acapulco's Gold, where a small crew watched Lucas win "Rock Star: Supernova"

--Overheard by Rich

Modern McCarthyism

Crazy Italian guy on bike: "You sir, you with the shiny boots. You look to me like a terrorist!"

Man walking by: "I'm such deep cover I didn't even know myself."

- Arlene Schnitzer Hall

-- Overheard by Rich

Karma Season

Woman to man: "So you're choosing football over Buddha!!!?

- Oba

-- Overheard by Rich

Butt Paste

Man in baby aisle: "Butt Paste? That's got to be the funniest name for a baby product ever."

Clerk: "It's brilliant marketing, but the mommies won't buy it."

- Walgreens on Burnside

-- Overheard by Rich

Super No

Woman: "And these dickheads think they can do a concert in Portland?"

- Dante's, where a large crowd watched Storm Large get voted out of the Supernova band on live TV.

-- Overheard by Rich

Head in the zipper?

Woman [to friend]: "So I had to cut into the pants because the zipper jammed and his hat was stuck in it. Do you think they'll take them back?"

[Goes up to costumer service rep.]

Woman: "I don't have a receipt."

- REI Costumer Service Line

-- Overheard by Ramse

Hoot

Him: "You've never been to Hooter's?"

Her: "Well I don't like wings, so there's nothing for me there."

- Floyd's Coffee Shop

-- Overheard by b!X