Maybe the baby daddy is in law

Woman on cell phone - Everything leading up to this was about buying a car and then she asked to talk to RJ. RJ gets on the phone and it's obvious he's a little kid what with the talk of finishing dinner before he has jelly beans and how she would be home soon. It is all very normal until:

"And when I get home, we're going to go see an attorney! Won't that be fun?"

- Heard on the 96 bus to Tualatin

-- Overheard by Micah

Dishwater blond

Stylist: That woman is crazy! She washes her hair with Lemon Joy!

Customer (laughing): You ought to put some of that shit up on your shelf.

- Bishops

-- Overheard by Rich

library flirting

At the main library downtown, waiting for a computer, a guy (mid-to-late 30's) shamelessly (and embarassingly) attempting to flirt with an 18 year-old PSU freshman (who says her R's like W's):

He: Wow, that's an amazing accent! Is it British?

She: Actually, it's a speech impediment.

- Overheard by Ellen

Knocked Up

At Fred Meyer on Hawthorne, April 16th
Tattooed hipster couple in the checkout line.

Woman: Hey, did you hear about the pregnant man in Bend?

Man: "Yes and its been pissing me off.

Woman (kind of confused): Why?

Man: Because if it can happen to him it can happen to anybody.

He was being serious...there was stunned silence...

- Overheard by Sam

Tatooine

One 6-year-old boy to another: I love you, Princess Leia.

- Burnside Powell's coffeeshop

-- Overheard by Marianna

Freddy's

Man on cell: Well, right now we're at Fredrick's.

- Hawthorne Fred Meyer

-- Overheard by Sky B

Messenger

Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing, while passing us on the street:
Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.

- NW 21st and Everett, 8:30 PM

-- Overheard by Jen

Tiny Blue Chair

Happy drunk guy: Hey, look at this place.

(we stop to look at Salon Icon)

Drunk guy: It's really small!

Us: Yeah, it is.

Drunk guy, as we walk away: Sorry for pointing that out to you!

- NW 21st and Flanders

-- Overheard by Jen

Must be the Cat Steven's songs

Saturday evening, Movie Madness. Man, woman and infant. Infant in man's arm is making funny sounds and pointing at stack of DVDs.

Woman: He wants to watch "Harold and Maude".

Man: Nobody wants to watch "Harold and Maude".

- Overheard by Sam

WTO

Saturday afternoon, outside the World Trade Center complex in downtown. Man driving bike cab. Riders are two asian women with cameras.

One of the women: What's that?

Cab driver: That's the World Trade Center. They're eeeevil.

- Overheard by Sam

Post hit

A sunny day on Alberta street, a group of people hanging out on a sidewalk surveying the scene. A car full of people cruises by with the windows down and loud music playing, intending to impress everyone around.

Guy hanging out on sidewalk (watching the car drive away): Who even LISTENS to that song anymore?

- Overheard by Miranda

Dude, I'm not voting

Saturday night, 9:00 pm. A group of 5 16-17 yr old boys in Movie Madness are in the 'New Releases' section, looking for a DVD to rent.

Boy #1: Oh, what about "Gone Baby Gone"...?

Boy #2: Oh yea...that's good. Okay, okay, who likes to see pedophiles get shot, raise your hand!

(Four boys laugh and raise their hands)

Boy #3: Dude, I'm not voting.

- Overheard by Jayne

That's great?

Customer behind me with a stack of newspapers.

Cashier: Who got in the paper?

Customer: My son.

Cashier: Wow! That's great! What did he do that was so special?

Customer: He died.

- Market of Choice.

-- Overheard by KB

Kitsch Rock

The opening band was the heavily mustached Portland based Danava. While Acid Mothers Temple was playing, Davana's bass player got into a scuffle with a fan. The following was overheard moments later.

Round Guy: What was that all about?
Skinny Guy: I'm pretty sure they were fighting over who's mustache was more ironic.
Round Guy: Yea, tough choice.

- At the Holocene Acid Mothers Temple show

-- Overheard by J

Semi-Pro

After getting a lecture from his supervisor about acting unprofessional, a co-worker said to my husband:

You won't fucking believe this. I just got chewed out for being unprofessional. Can you believe that shit?
(I could not possibly make this up!)

Living in the stone age

"There's no Wi-Fi. I can't live blog!"

- Overheard before the Merkley/Novick debate at the City Club today at the Governor Hotel

Give that man a Blue Ribbon

Girl: Do we have any soda?

Guy: We have Pabst. It's pretty much the same.

- Historic Irvington

-- Overheard by SaraFist

Sustainability

Mother to little girl: Technically, I only have to feed you once a day to keep you alive.

- Glisan Starbucks

-- Overheard by Brooke

Peace Meal

To friend: I've got to go out to dinner with this girl who wants to sleep with my boyfriend.

- Glisan Starbucks

-- Overheard by Brooke

kids these days

Little boy: I wanna grow up.

His mom: You wanna grow up?

Little boy: Right now.

Mom: Right now? Well, I think growing up takes time, honey.

- At the 2008 Chicken Fest in the shed with the baby chicks

-- Ovehread by Julie

Half hair

Child: Why is he in a wheelchair?

Dad: Not everyone is born the same way. Some people are born without arms or other things!

Child: Like your half hair, Daddy?

- Hawthorne Street, March 22, 2008

-- Overheard by KB

Jean pool

PA system: Somebody lost a pair of pants in the Pearl Room. If you lost your pants, please come to the Pearl Room desk to describe them.

- Powell's City of Books, 7 p.m. March 25

-- Overheard by Reid

take a look around

Short hippie/goth, around 40-year-old woman: Books are stupid. Who still reads them, anyway?

Tall guy with her: Maybe you should learn to read.

- Overheard in, this is ridiculous, Powell's City Of Books

Layaway

Customer: I put some clothes on hold here yesterday.

Employee: No problem - I'll go look for it. What did you put on hold?

Customer: Oh, you know. It was a bag of clothes.

- In an Old Navy store

-- Overheard by Michelle

Newspeak

Man on cellphone in Guitar Center: ...Ok, well, why don't you speak using normal words?

-- Overheard by italiamusica

Flugtag

Man On Phone Inside His Apartment: You know what it takes to be a part of it? You sign your name up, and then you ride your bike over the cliff!"

- Wellesley Court Apartments

-- Overheard by b!X

Guilty by disassociation

On the MAX at Skidmore Fountain, looking out at the homeless people:

Valley Girl: Oh my gawd you guys, are those gangs? Are those gaaaaangs, you guys? Like, that's really scary... that's really scary you guys.

Friends: (silent)

Valley Girl: Ohmygawd guys, are those gaaangs? That's really scary...

Friends: (silent)

- Overheard by Joe

the Spinners

Homeless guy (to no one in particular): Games people play.

- 18th and Burnside

-- Overheard by Rich

Deadeye Dick?

In the toy aisle of a local Fred Meyer:

Older boy (as he machine guns his brother): Take that!

Younger boy: Ow! My penis!

- Overheard by Brandon

so that's what the smell is

Woman: Look at my socks, these are the only ones I have left. I haven't done the laundry in three weeks!

- In a shoe store

-- Overheard by Nickowl

Not a OSU fan?

Petroleum company employee on cell: What am I doing in Oregon? Huntin' beavers, if you know what I mean... heh heh.

- Early-morning red line MAX

-- Overheard by Also Not An OSU Fan

Heritage

Couple in Pioneer Courthouse Square:

Guy: Does it run in your family?

Girl: No, it's genetic.

- Overheard by Emily

Reedie

Reedie #1: I wish I were a mechanic.

Reedie #2: I wish you were mechanical.


- Overheard by Sean in Southeast Portland

Flower power

WAY too energetic girl to equally spazzy, cheer-leaderish friends at Saturday Market in line at the ATM:

Liiike OMG, we like totally need to get Tye-dye shirts in honor of Portland!!

Friends: Totally like the best idea EVER! Plus it would go with like anything!!


- Overheard by Ali

drinking difficulties

Guy having trouble putting a straw into his drink: Where did I go wrong?

- NW 21st and Lovejoy

-- Overheard by molly

Subtext

While waiting for bus on 4th.

Teen girl to friend: So now my english teacher calls me jailbait...

- Over heard by Miss. Molly

Tuesday's child is full of grace

Bus driver: Did you know Tuesday is gay night?

Rider: Thought it was bi night ...

- Overheard by Eddie

Dude, where's your bike?

Bus driver: Somebody left their bike on the front of the bus. This happens a lot; we get something like 60 bikes a year in Portland where people get off the bus and just walk away.

Rider: No way.

Bus driver: Oh yeah, it's a Gary Fisher, too. Those are good ones. In fact, one time this guy put one on the front and he painted over the "Fisher" with the word "Coleman." It was so funny!

- On the #77

-- Overheard by Rich

Best beggar's line ever

I was waiting for the bus on 39th and Holgate and a homeless man approached me. After talking to him for awhile he told me that his name was "Tumbleweed". I will never forget this man because when he approached me he said,

"Excuse me sir, can you spare a nickel, a dime, a joint or a roach?"

-Overheard by massivegirlfight, who writes: "I had to give him money."

Game zone

30ish mall shopper on walking into the video game store, sees two employee's behind the counter and says:

I didn't know that GIRLS worked here!

- Overheard by Melanie

Flambe

Flaming gay man screaming into his cell phone:

Pick up some SHRIMP, yeah, shrimp, shrimp...
I already have some rice and corn...
Don't get smart with me, BITCH.


- MAX stop at 1st & Oak, 6:00pm

-- Overheard by cabernet4me

Mansion

Teen 1: We just moved into a mansion.

Teen 2: Dude, you do not live in a mansion. A mansion has at least four stories!

- At the Health Club

-- Overheard by leasey

Toy Story

7 year old, crying: Can you fix my toy?

Adult: Sorry, I don't have the right tools. Maybe your dad can fix it for you tonight.

7 year old: I don't have a dad! He's in prison!

- At daycare

-- Overheard by leasey

4:20 to Yuma

Girl on the train to the person on the other end of her cell phone: Of course I'm stoned; I was with Amanda.

- On the MAX

-- Overheard by Cabernet4me

Drewed

One 20-something girl to another: Oh, he pulled a Nancy Drew on you!

- On the #15

-- Overheard by Marianna, who writes: "I wish I'd heard the first part of the conversation."

What have you done for me lately?

Guy w/ goatee to female companion walking small dog: Jesus christ, i got you stoned and made you laugh, what the fuck do you want from me?!

- NW thurman & 25th at 9:30 at nite

-- Overheard by Julip

love/hate relationship

Overheard on 2nd avenue during Saturday Market:

Dude behind me, to his comrades: There is no difference between love and hate.

- Overheard by jen

They couldn't be from Portland

20's Hipster Guy #1: I think PBR is a Pale Ale.

20's Hipster Guy #2: Yeah. [takes a sip of his PBR]

- Doug Fir Lounge

-- Overheard by P@m

MYOB

Little Girl (licking a giant jawbreaker): ….so we're going to spend the next three hours here?

Pregnant Mother: No, not HERE.

Girl : Well, where then?

Preggers: That's none of your business, and if you're not good about it, do you know what's going to happen?

Girl: You're gonna take my jawbreaker away?

Preggers: That's right!

- In a shoestore

-- Overheard by: N + icky

Fatherland

"We don't think she has Downs Syndrome, she just has a lot of German in her."

- At a baby shower

--Overheard by SaintSacrilege