Daughter detraction

Mother to preteen daughter: "You better go find the self help section so you'll stop abusing me."

- Downtown Borders

-- Overheard by BabblingStacey

Multichannel

Woman: "How many blogs do you have anyway?

Man: "Umm, give me minute on that."

- Buffalo Gap

-- Overheard by Rich

RIFF Rules

Woman: "My son got laid off at Unisys today. I thought big companies only did that on Fridays."

Man: "Not in Portland. Only conservatives go postal."

- Lion's Pub

-- Overheard by Rich

Critters

Gal: "Over on Thurman yesterday he saw a coyote carrying something off in its mouth."

Guy: "What was it?"

Gal: "Looked like a cat's head."

Guy: "Sure it wasn't a huskie?"

- Old Forrestry Commons

-- Overheard by Rich

Ball Room

Drunk guy: "So I heard that the Crystal Ballroom has tennis balls under the floor to make it so bouncy."

Guy: "You think they even had tennis balls a hundred years ago?"

Drunk guy: "Well, they must have. Dodge balls would have been way too squishy."

- Laurelwood Pub House and Brewery

-- Overheard by Rich

Back June 18

Dear Readers,

We are on vacation and will be back Sunday, June 18.
Thanks for tuning in!

-Rich

On the bus on devil day

Guy #1: "I don't get it. Why would the devil torture all the bad people. They are doing his work. And he's doing god's work by torturing them."

Guy #2: "Well the whole point for him is to destroy earth, right? So maybe he's only all friendly while you're alive."

Guy #1: "Well when I get down there I'm going to tell him about it. What if I revolutionize hell? That's my goal. I'm going to go to hell and make it better than heaven."

- Bus 44 to Portland, 6/6/06

-- Overheard by Heather

Olive Branch of a Six-year-old

Kid to park: "Hey! Anybody want have a cookie and be my FRIEND?"

- Wallace Park

-- Overheard by Rich

Diversion

Girl: "Why do you keep changing the subject?"

Guy: "Umm, Can I have your pickle?"

- New Old Lompoc

-- Overheard by Rich

Referendum

Kid: "Daddy, what is that man doing?"

Dad: "He's subverting the political process by getting signatures."

Kid: "Why?"

Dad: "Because in Oregon, they pay you money to find people with opinions."

- Laughing Planet

-- Overheard by Rich

The Nile

Girl: "Oh, the Nile!"

Guy: "Um, that's not the Nile."

Girl: "Well, I didn't grow up here!"

- Crossing the Steel bridge on the Max

-- Submitted by Bonnie

Well in that case

Guy #1: "Like I'm going to let a forty-something woman get the best of me."

Guy #2: "Like you'd even care if she was a co-ed."

- Nob Hill Tavern

-- Overheard by Rich

Open wounds

Woman #1: "So both guys went and saw her in the hospital."

Woman #2: "You mean, the other man went and saw her too?"

Women #1: "She came out of anesthesia and they both were there. And ever since, it's been an open relationship."

- Bishops

-- Overheard by Rich