Tuesday, December 29, 2009


This afternoon, I overheard the following exchange between two employees at the Beaverton Powell's.

Book buyer 1: You gotta catch 'em all, man.

Book buyer 2: Have you heard of the Pokemon Liberation Front?

Book buyer 1: What's that?

Book buyer 2: All of the trainers force the Pokemon to fight, but maybe not all of them want to. So they try to free them.

Book buyer 1: I've always felt that the entire Pokemon series was Ash's fever dream.

- Overheard by Doug

Baby Jesus is weeping

Guy in line for tickets on the day after Christmas: What's the date today?

-Newmark Theater, downtown
-- Overheard by TK

Monday, December 28, 2009

Hulk smash!

Mom to young son, who is playing with a plastic Hulk action figure, banging it against tables: Be gentle with the Hulk.

- Bakery Bar NE
-- Overheard by Ed

Blue Light Special

Mom, loudly to son at the checkout: Do you want me
to start using my Satan voice? Because I will, if you don't start

- KMart
-- Overheard by Laurel

Monday, December 21, 2009


Girl: My boyfriend's dog swallowed a bottlecap and it was going to die, so all my Christmas money went to pay for an operation.

Guy: I swallowed a sewing needle.

- On the Max
-- Overheard by Rich

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Doorman (to co-worker): It doesn't matter, I still need my stripper to hold my hand while I'm driving.

- Marriott on Broadway
-- Overheard by Isaac


Didgeridoo salesman to customer: I used to think that playing the didgeridoo was hard, until I realized that it's just making body noises into a tube.

- Holiday Artisan Market in Pioneer Square
-- Overheard by Maria

Monday, December 14, 2009

Happy Holidays

At my mother-in-law's holiday open house this weekend.

Mother-in-law (opening door): Welcome, come on in!
Neighbor: What a lovely house you have.
Mother-in-law: Oh, thanks. Now, remind me who you are.
Neighbor: I live four houses down in the green house
Mother-in-law: Oh that's right. You're the lady whose dog just died!! Now I remember.
Neighbor: Yes, but I prefer to be called "Nancy".

- Submitted by Patrick

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Woman on the MAX to her pregnant friend: I had such bad gas one time it felt like a baby kicking.

- Overheard by Brittney

It was bad

Two dudes on the #12 bus:

"Oh you saw that movie?"
"It was bad."
"Cool, I've been wanting to see it."
"Don't even bother, it's so bad."
"Oh, it's bad? I thought you meant bad as in good."
"No, dude, I meant bad as in awful."
"Yeah? How bad is it?"
"It's like Blair Witch Project bad."

- Overheard by a p

Monday, December 07, 2009


Girl on cell phone, in an "that's so obvious" voice: Yeah but you can still pee in the toilet and flush it without having a battery.

- Near PSU, by Hotlips Pizza
-- Overheard by Sarah

Saturday, December 05, 2009


Overheard at a red light - the family in the car next to us (mother, father, and son)

Father (Angrily): You have the brains of a grasshopper!
Mother: Oh, look! Daddy promoted you! I usually say he has the brain of a flea.

- Overheard by Sal

Friday, December 04, 2009


Police scanner: ...suspect is armed with a hockey stick.

- Overheard by Nation


Following the Civil War, when Duck fans stormed the field...

Girl: I wouldn't want to be caught in that. Crowds like that are so dangerous.
Guy 1: They're Oregonians for chrissake. What are they going to do, drive slowly in the left lane?
Guy 2: Hot box you?
Guy 3: Force you to compost?

- South Waterfront apartment
-- Overheard by Stefan

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Kiss the Chef

Coworker: I make out with weirdos all the time. Eating spit from some line chef isn't such a big deal when you think about it.

- Overheard by Jake