Friday, November 30, 2007

Oh, the joys of public transportation

Older lady to two teen girls (about extremely drunk guy on the MAX): You guys might want to move before he throws up all over you.

- Blue line to Hillsboro

-- Overheard by Jen

But They're Kinda Used...

20-ish girl: "Man, I want my condoms back from his ass!"

- Overheard by Aaron on MAX

caffeine makes some people a bit too edgy

Scruffy, sarcastic guy: See you around.

Clean-cut, angry/nervous guy: Yeah, see you around. Next time I'll be packing just like you, bud.

Scruffy guy: Cool.

Clean-cut guy: Next time I'll have a knife just like you, bro.

- Outside Coffee Time on NW 21st, around 11pm

-- Overheard by Jen

Thursday, November 29, 2007

nor gloom of night

"Our tax dollars don't pay them to make chit chat!"

(The USPS is self-funding and does not receive any tax revenue for

- Kenton Station P.O

-- Overheard by Steve

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

"So, what are you doing later? Besides jumping off the KOIN tower, I mean."

Girl on cell: "Hello? Oh hi, I just wanted to tell you that your parents adopted you and your whole life's a lie. You're a fat sack of crap and everyone hates you. I also just set your dog on fire."

- PSU cafeteria

-- Overheard by Justin

the weather outside is frightful, so is the conversation...

Guy #1: And it was so cold---

Guy #2: And the snot was frozen all over his face.

- Walking down NW 21st last night

-- Overheard by Jen

Monday, November 26, 2007

Brisk, post-Thanksgiving Walk in Berlin

It's that chilly Saturday after Thanksgiving, and I'm on a walk with a friend heading out toward St. Johns. Three late 20-something, sheet rocker-type guys are standing around on the porch of a tired-looking house.

Sheet Rocker 1: "I've been meaning to read Mein Kampf."

Sheet Rocker 2: "Yeah, I hear it's good."

We cross the street.

- Overheard by Gm

It was chilly in the Ladies' that evening...

Girl one, in toilet stall: Brrr!

Girl two, in stall next to her (sing song): My butt is freeeeeezing!

Girl one (sing song): And there's a black thing on my toiiiiilet!

Girl two: Ahhh, the joys of the public restroom...

- Hawthorne Hideaway

-- Overheard by Specklet

Monday, November 19, 2007

Damn hippies!

Overheard on the 33 bus line, an alternative looking couple was talking when the guy gasped and turned to the girl:

Guy: I have a job now...that means I'm a contributing member of society...

Guy and Girl: Wuh-wuh-wuuuuuuhhh....

- Overheard by ali

Sunday, November 18, 2007

low tech

A group of seven people are sitting at a long table.
A guy and girl sitting across from one another...

Girl: I'm not technical or anything.

Guy: I know. I've been to your house.

- Greater Trumps

-- Overheard by Laurie

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Happy hour

This one is rich. Am in Blue Hour for happy hour on Friday (Nov. 16) and in the corner, up in the front, near a window are a guy and gal. Cocktail server comes up and asks if she can get them anything.

Guy: Yes. I'll take six of those (pointing to the drink his gal is drinking). I want three by I.V., one poured over my head, and the rest in front of me. (Server laughs and walks away.)

- Overheard by Gm

Terminate hipster with extreme prejudice

Stupid Hipster: We can't have lunch at a Jewish deli! This is Wednesday, not Jewsday!

- Inside the Ace Hotel Stumptown

-- Overheard by Ted

Friday, November 16, 2007

the little apple

Little girl to father in central downtown: Are we in New York city right now?

- Overheard by SkyB

Smoking bitches

Scene: Group of three female smokers are outside on a break.

Homeless Man: Smoking bitches, smoking bitches, die smoking bitches, die!

- Downtown at Washington and 5th

-- Overheard by: PDXCABBIE, who writes: He yelled from from the middle of the street. I had to drive around him.


Tall street kid in a trench coat, (loudly speaking into a pay phone):
I'm going to assassinate a bull fighter in Italy! (slams phone receiver down)

Street kid sitting on the side walk (enthusiastically): You do that, Jeff!

Trench coat (yelling): The hairy messiah KNOWS I'm on overload!

- Outside the downtown RiteAid

-- Overheard by Specklet

Ave Maria

Woman: Yeah, you know when I was a kid there was Donnie Osmond. But not like any guy would want to go see Donnie.

Man sitting nearby: I'd go see Marie. Yeah, she's hot.

- Eastbound MAX train, 5:00 rush hour

-- Overheard by Dyana

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Two young guys yelling at each other outside Cedar Hills Crossing in Beaverton.

Guy 1 : So what? I slept with your sister; get over it already!!

Guy 2: Dude, that wasn't my sister that was my MOM!!!

- Overheard by Jim

Friday, November 09, 2007

Saving the Day

(My friends and I walk up to a group of people crowded around a collapsed female streetkid; a male streetkid is kneeling at her side.)

My friend: Is there anything I can do to help? I'm a critical care nurse.

Male streetkid: I know how to keep people breathing! I did heroin for years!

(At this point, we walked away, and heard sirens shortly thereafter.)

- SW 10th & Morrison

-- Overheard by J

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I see what you mean

(Woman boards bus with white cane and dark sunglasses)

Woman (to driver): I need to go to *muffled*

Driver: Where?

Woman: Oh nevermind, I'll see it when we get close.

- Overheard on #4 by Aaron

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Open road

Driver: I have four days off and I'm going to help my sister-in-law move. It's about a 12 hour drive, but that's OK. It's not like I have to stop every two blocks...

- On the #12 Sandy Bus

-- Overheard by Duffbert

Raging Taqueria Boohoos

Two different men, within minutes of each other, outside Taqueria Los Gorditos on 50th and Division:

Man the First: It's okay, my dad's the sheriff. I am a LOO-OO-OO-OOSER! FUCK YOO-OO-OOU!

Man the Second, to me and companions: Why aren't you kids smoking yet?!

- Overheard by Abner


While a girl strums her guitar and sings at Valentine's:

Girl: "Are you listening to this? She sounds just like Lead Belly!"

Guy: "Except Lead Belly played the twelve string."

Girl: "You've worn the same clothes four days in a row."

- Overheard by Joel


Father and young son looking at the planetarium schedule

Father: No son, blackholes is not a porno... not here at OMSI.

- At the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry

-- Overheard by Kevin

Monday, November 05, 2007

Too much caffeine

Two girls were walking down Yamhill on Saturday afternoon, and the one of them asked the other:

"Is there such a thing as restless arm syndrome?"

- Overheard by Elizabeth

Sushi Town

Heard after my plane landed in Portland on a flight from Boston:

After male passenger comments he is traveling to Vancouver, Washington on business, a female passenger replies,

"You will LOVE vancouver washington. they have great sushi!"

- Overheard by liz

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Welcome mat

Restaurant worker on break: What do you think after a 15 hour shift? All I want to do is to get in bed. What the hell was she sleeping in front of the door for anyway?

- Near Saturday Market

-- Overheard by Steve

wisdom recipe 420

Heard through my kitchen window from the neighbors on their porch:

"Lesson learned- never eat pot brownies on the beach in Florida."

- Overheard by purplespider

Saturday, November 03, 2007


Exasperated white girl to Japanese friend: Wait, so you're telling me that you speak Japanese, but you don't speak French?!

Japanese friend: [Nods.]

- Hawthorne Fred Meyer

-- Overheard by LAB

but at least I'm a well-read retard

Girl in cat-eye glasses, staring into space: You know what I would love to eat?
Brunette, facetiously: A bear?
Girl in cat-eye glasses, startled: What? Oh, yeah, I'd totally eat a bear!
Brunette: No, you wouldn't!
Girl in cat-eye glasses, earnestly: Yeah, they're supposed to be delicious, especially in the fall when they're all fattened up to hibernate...
Brunette (interrupting): Who do you know that's eaten a bear?
Girl in cat-eye glasses: Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Brunette: You. Are a retard.

- Rose's Deli on NW 23rd

-- Overheard by: I remember that part


Co Worker on phone: I've been sick for 30 years, COME ON!

- Overheard by Jim

Friday, November 02, 2007

must use High Karate

Guy on #12 bus: I get more coochie than every man! Thursday! Monday! Tuesday! Saturday! Sunday! Jesus' birthday!

- Overheard by birds fly

secret code?

Girl on cellphone walking down sidewalk:

"Well, I actually caught some dragonflies.."

- Overheard by molly


At a KMart, walked past a couple of grungy looking young-adult girls, one to the other:

"Dude, I have the gnarliest fucking hangover..."

Couldn't hear the rest, but me and my friends could only try and not laugh.

- Kmart

-- Overheard by Nick