Sunday, November 30, 2008

Make things right

Guy: I got to go piss blood. Then things will be halfway right with the world.

- Muu-Muu's

-- Overheard by Rich

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Fat cat

Girl #1: I looove cats now.
Girl #2: (makes face)
Girl #3: You don't like cats?
Girl #2: Well I do...but only if they're fat or mean.

- Morrison Hotel Bar
-- Overheard by Lauren


Homeless guy #1: Dude, what the hell, why are you addicted to meth!? I mean, meth sucks!

Homeless guy #2 (hangs his head down): I don't know.

Homeless guy #3: Meth is kinda fun.

- 12th and Washington
-- Overheard by John

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sign of the times

From a co-worker having computer trouble: I don’t know what I did wrong, but it worked.

- Overheard by April

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

close enough for government work

Guy #1: Yeah my dad's a stock broker.
Guy #2: Your dad's a stock broker?
Guy #1: Well not a stock broker, but he buys stock for himself.

- Overheard on the streetcar by Molly

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Video of the Week: Wish You Were Here

I lost some of my heros this year. In 2008, the world lost even more.

In order of appearance:
Isaac Hayes
Richard Wright
Jake LaMotta
Dick Martin
George Carlin
Steve Fossett
Eugene Upshaw
Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Richard Widmark
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
Eli Wallach
David Groh
Harvey Korman
Bo Diddley
Dith Pran (as portrayed by the late actor Haing S. Ngor in The Killing Fields)
Sydney Pollack
Bobby Murcer
William F. Buckley Jr.
Bernie Mac
Tim Russert
Roy Scheider
Charleton Heston
Arthur C. Clarke
J. D. Salinger (reported dead, but still kicking)
Heath Ledger
Paul Newman

Saturday, November 22, 2008

No Po Ho

Girl on cell phone: Did you just call me a jet-setting whore? I'm in Portland for Pete's sake.

- Waiting to deplane at PDX

-- Overheard by Gwen


Man On Cellphone: I'm getting a big beer and a bunch of donuts. Yeah, I know it's not a good hobby, but I figured I'd just go home and get fat.

-At the Oak Grove Fred Meyer u-scan

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Shower power

Conversation on a plane between two business women headed down to San Jose:

Woman 1: Did you get So-and-so a shower gift yet?

Woman 2: No, but I know she is registered at Babies-R-Us. I really hate it when my pregnant friends register at Babies-R-Us. I wish they’d register at Target. It’s just so much more convenient for me.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Overheard the day after election day

Middle-Aged co-worker about Obama: What are those letters after his name? What are they? B... I... D... E... N...? What are those letters for?

- South Waterfront
-- Overheard by Sarah D.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Video of the Week: FlexRex - A Day in the Life

In this mashup of, our work-from-home hero makes it through a typical work day.

Since I did this spoof some seven years ago, I learned how to draw (kind of) and changed him into my own character for a bunch of sequels and even his own fictional blog. Then I started working from home and he turned into me. Or something.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Beaver believer

Flaming gay fellow fawns all over young girl at the bar, telling her how hot her dreads are.

FGF to woman: You keep those curls so nice. (She brightens up.) Tell me. Do you shave the pussy hair?

FGF to me as I try to feign disinterest: You hear that? She shaves the pussy hair!

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Rich

Friday, November 07, 2008

Whistle while you work


I'm gonna blow up another planet
La la la la la,
I'm gonna blow up another planet
La la la la la

- Chapman School
-- Overheard by Rich

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Hostile Territory

A group of 15 Republicans in suits and their entourage of stuck-up Proto-MILFs come into the bar. They are all loaded and apparently just came from some alumni gathering. One of the dudes comes and sits down with us at our booth.

Woman: Are you all Republicans?

Suit: You know, that's the trouble with this town! Just because I wear a suit and drive an SUV, every motherfucker on a bicycle gives me the finger and assumes they know everything about me. They're like, you better start riding a bike, asshole!

Woman: So why did you decide to become a Republican?

Suit: I'm fucking fiscally conservative, OK?

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Rich

He's the one that fought dinosaurs, eh?

Middle-aged woman telling the bus driver a story: He said his name was Jason, so I said 'do you have a ship called the Argo?' know, like Jason in the Bible...

(If by Bible you mean Edith Hamilton's Mythology...)

- On this #15
-- Overheard by Marianna

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Office Space

Overheard on election night, coming out of the executive suite, when only Kentucky and Vermont had been called:

Exec #1: What do you do on election night?
Exec #2: Turn on Fox News and wait.

Overheard in nearby cubicles: stifled snickering.

Moments later, when the electoral map had become more blue:

Exec #2: It looked so good for a while, we were up 8 to 3!

More snickering from the cube farm.

- Overheard by Anonymous

Dumb Dentists

Female Dentist 1: Look at all these pens she gave me!
Female Dentist 2: Dont you have more than that?
Female Dentist 1: Yea but that Bitch stole them..
Female Dentist 2: (whispers to Female 1) she keeps them in her backpack
Female Dentist 1: What the F*** (yells Female Dentist #3's Name) Give me my PENS!!!
Female Dentist 3: (yells while with a patient) I'm Busy! and they're mine!!
Female Dentist 1: Well you Better Give them Back!!

This Debate Continued for our whole visit and and it was quite amazing compared to regular dentist visits lol

- Overheard by Devon