Monday, March 31, 2008


Mother to little girl: Technically, I only have to feed you once a day to keep you alive.

- Glisan Starbucks

-- Overheard by Brooke

Peace Meal

To friend: I've got to go out to dinner with this girl who wants to sleep with my boyfriend.

- Glisan Starbucks

-- Overheard by Brooke

Sunday, March 30, 2008

kids these days

Little boy: I wanna grow up.

His mom: You wanna grow up?

Little boy: Right now.

Mom: Right now? Well, I think growing up takes time, honey.

- At the 2008 Chicken Fest in the shed with the baby chicks

-- Ovehread by Julie

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Half hair

Child: Why is he in a wheelchair?

Dad: Not everyone is born the same way. Some people are born without arms or other things!

Child: Like your half hair, Daddy?

- Hawthorne Street, March 22, 2008

-- Overheard by KB

Jean pool

PA system: Somebody lost a pair of pants in the Pearl Room. If you lost your pants, please come to the Pearl Room desk to describe them.

- Powell's City of Books, 7 p.m. March 25

-- Overheard by Reid

Friday, March 28, 2008

take a look around

Short hippie/goth, around 40-year-old woman: Books are stupid. Who still reads them, anyway?

Tall guy with her: Maybe you should learn to read.

- Overheard in, this is ridiculous, Powell's City Of Books

Saturday, March 22, 2008


Customer: I put some clothes on hold here yesterday.

Employee: No problem - I'll go look for it. What did you put on hold?

Customer: Oh, you know. It was a bag of clothes.

- In an Old Navy store

-- Overheard by Michelle

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Man on cellphone in Guitar Center: ...Ok, well, why don't you speak using normal words?

-- Overheard by italiamusica

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Man On Phone Inside His Apartment: You know what it takes to be a part of it? You sign your name up, and then you ride your bike over the cliff!"

- Wellesley Court Apartments

-- Overheard by b!X

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Guilty by disassociation

On the MAX at Skidmore Fountain, looking out at the homeless people:

Valley Girl: Oh my gawd you guys, are those gangs? Are those gaaaaangs, you guys? Like, that's really scary... that's really scary you guys.

Friends: (silent)

Valley Girl: Ohmygawd guys, are those gaaangs? That's really scary...

Friends: (silent)

- Overheard by Joe

the Spinners

Homeless guy (to no one in particular): Games people play.

- 18th and Burnside

-- Overheard by Rich

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Deadeye Dick?

In the toy aisle of a local Fred Meyer:

Older boy (as he machine guns his brother): Take that!

Younger boy: Ow! My penis!

- Overheard by Brandon

Saturday, March 15, 2008

so that's what the smell is

Woman: Look at my socks, these are the only ones I have left. I haven't done the laundry in three weeks!

- In a shoe store

-- Overheard by Nickowl

Friday, March 14, 2008

Not a OSU fan?

Petroleum company employee on cell: What am I doing in Oregon? Huntin' beavers, if you know what I mean... heh heh.

- Early-morning red line MAX

-- Overheard by Also Not An OSU Fan

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Couple in Pioneer Courthouse Square:

Guy: Does it run in your family?

Girl: No, it's genetic.

- Overheard by Emily

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Reedie #1: I wish I were a mechanic.

Reedie #2: I wish you were mechanical.

- Overheard by Sean in Southeast Portland

Monday, March 10, 2008

Flower power

WAY too energetic girl to equally spazzy, cheer-leaderish friends at Saturday Market in line at the ATM:

Liiike OMG, we like totally need to get Tye-dye shirts in honor of Portland!!

Friends: Totally like the best idea EVER! Plus it would go with like anything!!

- Overheard by Ali

drinking difficulties

Guy having trouble putting a straw into his drink: Where did I go wrong?

- NW 21st and Lovejoy

-- Overheard by molly

Sunday, March 09, 2008


While waiting for bus on 4th.

Teen girl to friend: So now my english teacher calls me jailbait...

- Over heard by Miss. Molly

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Tuesday's child is full of grace

Bus driver: Did you know Tuesday is gay night?

Rider: Thought it was bi night ...

- Overheard by Eddie

Friday, March 07, 2008

Dude, where's your bike?

Bus driver: Somebody left their bike on the front of the bus. This happens a lot; we get something like 60 bikes a year in Portland where people get off the bus and just walk away.

Rider: No way.

Bus driver: Oh yeah, it's a Gary Fisher, too. Those are good ones. In fact, one time this guy put one on the front and he painted over the "Fisher" with the word "Coleman." It was so funny!

- On the #77

-- Overheard by Rich

Best beggar's line ever

I was waiting for the bus on 39th and Holgate and a homeless man approached me. After talking to him for awhile he told me that his name was "Tumbleweed". I will never forget this man because when he approached me he said,

"Excuse me sir, can you spare a nickel, a dime, a joint or a roach?"

-Overheard by massivegirlfight, who writes: "I had to give him money."

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Game zone

30ish mall shopper on walking into the video game store, sees two employee's behind the counter and says:

I didn't know that GIRLS worked here!

- Overheard by Melanie


Flaming gay man screaming into his cell phone:

Pick up some SHRIMP, yeah, shrimp, shrimp...
I already have some rice and corn...
Don't get smart with me, BITCH.

- MAX stop at 1st & Oak, 6:00pm

-- Overheard by cabernet4me


Teen 1: We just moved into a mansion.

Teen 2: Dude, you do not live in a mansion. A mansion has at least four stories!

- At the Health Club

-- Overheard by leasey

Toy Story

7 year old, crying: Can you fix my toy?

Adult: Sorry, I don't have the right tools. Maybe your dad can fix it for you tonight.

7 year old: I don't have a dad! He's in prison!

- At daycare

-- Overheard by leasey

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

4:20 to Yuma

Girl on the train to the person on the other end of her cell phone: Of course I'm stoned; I was with Amanda.

- On the MAX

-- Overheard by Cabernet4me


One 20-something girl to another: Oh, he pulled a Nancy Drew on you!

- On the #15

-- Overheard by Marianna, who writes: "I wish I'd heard the first part of the conversation."

What have you done for me lately?

Guy w/ goatee to female companion walking small dog: Jesus christ, i got you stoned and made you laugh, what the fuck do you want from me?!

- NW thurman & 25th at 9:30 at nite

-- Overheard by Julip

Monday, March 03, 2008

love/hate relationship

Overheard on 2nd avenue during Saturday Market:

Dude behind me, to his comrades: There is no difference between love and hate.

- Overheard by jen

They couldn't be from Portland

20's Hipster Guy #1: I think PBR is a Pale Ale.

20's Hipster Guy #2: Yeah. [takes a sip of his PBR]

- Doug Fir Lounge

-- Overheard by P@m

Sunday, March 02, 2008


Little Girl (licking a giant jawbreaker): ….so we're going to spend the next three hours here?

Pregnant Mother: No, not HERE.

Girl : Well, where then?

Preggers: That's none of your business, and if you're not good about it, do you know what's going to happen?

Girl: You're gonna take my jawbreaker away?

Preggers: That's right!

- In a shoestore

-- Overheard by: N + icky


"We don't think she has Downs Syndrome, she just has a lot of German in her."

- At a baby shower

--Overheard by SaintSacrilege