Self-serve station in a 'cozy' Beaverton coffee place: woman's shoulder bag brushes the head of a seated woman a couple of times...
Woman fixing coffee: I'm sorry, I seem to want to keep hitting you with my purse.
Seated woman: That's okay, honey, we all feel that way some day.
- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Ultimate
Guy on Cell Phone: You've got to decide what's more important: your job or this ultimate frisbee game.
- Laurelhurst Lobby
-- Overheard by Ted
- Laurelhurst Lobby
-- Overheard by Ted
Abuse
2 women smoking cigarettes and talking:
Woman #1: Apparently that's abuse.
Woman #2: No! You're crazy.
- Waiting for the #15 Bus
- Overheard by Rose
Woman #1: Apparently that's abuse.
Woman #2: No! You're crazy.
- Waiting for the #15 Bus
- Overheard by Rose
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Culprit
Young boy holding his nose and pointing at a morbidly obese man: I think it's him.
- On the #6 bus
-- Overheard by Daniel
- On the #6 bus
-- Overheard by Daniel
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wild Life
Skinny, seriously drunk guy who is flitting his arms very poorly: I’m a little birdie, I can FLYYYYY! Watch me fly.
10 footsteps later.
Professional-looking young man, exiting a building and carrying a fish in a fishbowl: Whose a good little fishie?
- Submitted by: I’m just trying to pick up my lunch
10 footsteps later.
Professional-looking young man, exiting a building and carrying a fish in a fishbowl: Whose a good little fishie?
- Submitted by: I’m just trying to pick up my lunch
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Kidnapped
Youngish woman: He's really good at kidnapping me. This one time he threw me over his shoulder when I was really drunk in Calispell and I woke up in Missoula. I got fired.
Middle-aged man: Really?
Youngish woman: Yeah, he wouldn't drive me back to Kalispell. My boss was like, 'Well, you're in Missoula'. Fair enough.
- Black Cat Cafe
-- Overheard by Charlie
Middle-aged man: Really?
Youngish woman: Yeah, he wouldn't drive me back to Kalispell. My boss was like, 'Well, you're in Missoula'. Fair enough.
- Black Cat Cafe
-- Overheard by Charlie
Monday, November 09, 2009
Thursday
Late 30's women: Damnit! I'm never having sex on a Thursday!
- Hollywood Bowl, during kid's league with plenty of children around
-- Overheard by Alex
- Hollywood Bowl, during kid's league with plenty of children around
-- Overheard by Alex
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Next!
Man, about his ex-girlfriend: She wanted me to marry her and her fiance – you know, perform the wedding. I told her I would, but I warned her, “Well, know what I’ll say: ‘You may now kiss the bride – because I already have.’”
- At Utopia Cafe
-- Overheard by lauraf
- At Utopia Cafe
-- Overheard by lauraf
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Upgrade?
Husky, whiskey-voiced older woman talking to a handful of what look to be homeless people standing and smoking under the eaves outside the Salem bus terminal:
"So then we upgraded to a Geo Metro."
- Overheard by John
"So then we upgraded to a Geo Metro."
- Overheard by John
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Time out
A group of 6- and 7-year-old party-goers (all boys) mobbed Chuck-E, bopping him on the nose, slapping his cheeks and pulling his tail.
Kid to his mom: Chuck-E-Cheese called a time out.
- Overheard by Pam
Kid to his mom: Chuck-E-Cheese called a time out.
- Overheard by Pam
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Pandora let down
Man: Is that Cher on the radio, who's responsible for that?
Barista: Pandora, it pisses us off every 7th song...
- Cafe Viale, SW 6th Ave
-- Overheard by Dave
Barista: Pandora, it pisses us off every 7th song...
- Cafe Viale, SW 6th Ave
-- Overheard by Dave
A Leak of Their Own
Two guys, two gals, high-spirited, briskly exiting the Rose Garden after the Blazers opening night win.
Guy: Man, we gotta do more of this shit! Go to Blazers games and pee on people!
- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie
Guy: Man, we gotta do more of this shit! Go to Blazers games and pee on people!
- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Deaf ear
Overheard in a CNA class at PCC:
"Sometimes you have to put in ear plugs and let your baby cry for 5 hours."
- Overheard by Gary
"Sometimes you have to put in ear plugs and let your baby cry for 5 hours."
- Overheard by Gary
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Better get started
Video store clerk: Those are all due back Tuesday at 10.
Dad: Emma, do you think we can watch all these by Tuesday?
Three-year-old (definitively): Yes.
Dad: Do you know when Tuesday is?
Three-year-old (just as definitively): No.
- At Movie Madness
-- Overhead by lauraf
Dad: Emma, do you think we can watch all these by Tuesday?
Three-year-old (definitively): Yes.
Dad: Do you know when Tuesday is?
Three-year-old (just as definitively): No.
- At Movie Madness
-- Overhead by lauraf
Friday, October 23, 2009
Dino
Two bums talking to each other: Well then how many dinosaurs DO you want to kill?
- While walking down 21st Ave
-- Overheard by Nathan
- While walking down 21st Ave
-- Overheard by Nathan
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Chance of showers
Three street folks walking by the MAX stop, SW 3rd and Morrison:
Guy #1: Man, who ordered this rain?
Guy #2: I did, but I ordered a side of Sun with it!
Guy #1: I'm gonna shave right here (pauses in an office building entryway).
moments later ...
Guy #1: Man, I'm getting shit on!
Gal: By a bird?
Guy #1: No, the rain!
- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie
Guy #1: Man, who ordered this rain?
Guy #2: I did, but I ordered a side of Sun with it!
Guy #1: I'm gonna shave right here (pauses in an office building entryway).
moments later ...
Guy #1: Man, I'm getting shit on!
Gal: By a bird?
Guy #1: No, the rain!
- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Freedom fries
Girl: If you live in Paris, you're supposed to call it 'pah-ree'
Guy: What?
Girl: That's how they pronounce it there, they don't even call the city by the right name and they live there.
Guy: Well, that's dumb.
- At Muchas Gracias while waiting for food
-- Overheard by Mike
Guy: What?
Girl: That's how they pronounce it there, they don't even call the city by the right name and they live there.
Guy: Well, that's dumb.
- At Muchas Gracias while waiting for food
-- Overheard by Mike
When iPhones cry
Man is texting.
Woman: That's not your iPhone. What is that?
Man: It a Google phone.
Woman: Doesn't your iPhone cry when you do that?
- Overheard by Jeff
Woman: That's not your iPhone. What is that?
Man: It a Google phone.
Woman: Doesn't your iPhone cry when you do that?
- Overheard by Jeff
Semen. sorry
Two Girls, mid-twenties: ..and you actually kept the semen?
Then they both looked at me.. It was uncomfortable.. I had to keep sitting there cause the bus was full.
- On the #14 bus
-- Overheard by Josh
Then they both looked at me.. It was uncomfortable.. I had to keep sitting there cause the bus was full.
- On the #14 bus
-- Overheard by Josh
Monday, October 19, 2009
Dreads
Stoner talking about his crush: She doesn't have the prettiest face, but she has the longest dreads in south east.
- Somewhere near se 39 and hawthorne
-Overheard by nico
- Somewhere near se 39 and hawthorne
-Overheard by nico
Disabled
Bus driver to 70-something guy in wheelchair: Do you want straps or restraints?
70-something in reply: Not in public.
- On Tri-Met this morning
-- Overheard by Mike
70-something in reply: Not in public.
- On Tri-Met this morning
-- Overheard by Mike
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Spider sack
Two guys smoking outside of a cell phone store in Aloha: So anyway, that's when the spider crawled down and bit my nuts.
- Overheard by Katie
- Overheard by Katie
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Fly with a Friendly Face
Old lady looking at the tail of an Alaskan Airlines jet: Is that Bob Marley?... Oh, it's an Eskimo!
- Portland Airport.
-- Overheard by Timber Ninja
- Portland Airport.
-- Overheard by Timber Ninja
Monday, October 12, 2009
One in a Million
Aging rocker dude: I've got long hair, I wear a leather jacket, I wear black clothes... I'm an original!
- MAX Yellow Line
-- Overheard by Steve
- MAX Yellow Line
-- Overheard by Steve
Happy Hour
Woman to man: I just got out of jail, so I went to the bar. I ordered myself a triple margarita. I'm sitting next to this guy and I tell him I just got out of jail. He says, aren't you on probation? You're not supposed to be drinking. I said to him, it's 4:30! You're not supposed to be drinking either!
- On the #15 Bus
-- Submitted by TJ
- On the #15 Bus
-- Submitted by TJ
Crabs
Young Guy #1 to Young Guy #2, as they approach the urinals: Dude, how do you know if you have crabs?
- Hawthorne Fred Meyer Men's Room
-- Overheard by Noah
- Hawthorne Fred Meyer Men's Room
-- Overheard by Noah
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Denmark
Blonde girl: I've been to Denmark. That's basically the same as IKEA.
- IKEA
-- Overheard by Shea
- IKEA
-- Overheard by Shea
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Procedure
Guy 1: Vasectomies are cheap and easy procedures. I definitely recommend looking into one.
Guy 2: No man, I can't handle sharp things that close to my penis. Other than piercings, but that's a different story.
- Overheard by a p
Guy 2: No man, I can't handle sharp things that close to my penis. Other than piercings, but that's a different story.
- Overheard by a p
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Paternity
Co-worker 1: So, do you have any kids?
Co-worker 2: None that I’m aware of.
- Overheard by Kyle
Co-worker 2: None that I’m aware of.
- Overheard by Kyle
Payday
Group get onto streetcar:
Girl 1: Why on Wednesday?
Girl 2: Because thats when we get our foodstamps. We're getting fucked up!
- Overheard by Sky
Girl 1: Why on Wednesday?
Girl 2: Because thats when we get our foodstamps. We're getting fucked up!
- Overheard by Sky
Friday, October 02, 2009
Blossoming Lotus
Middle-aged man and woman walking down the sidewalk outside Blossoming Lotus on Davis.
Woman: I was taking a yoga class and my breasts kept spilling out during the class.
- In front of Blossoming Lotus
-- Overheard by Shannon
Woman: I was taking a yoga class and my breasts kept spilling out during the class.
- In front of Blossoming Lotus
-- Overheard by Shannon
Monday, September 28, 2009
You got another thing coming
Drunk guy at Pearl Jam show: Man, I'm fuckin' pissed that Shannon broke up with that Judas Priest cover band.
His friends: unintelligible mumbles of assent.
- Overheard by Jason
His friends: unintelligible mumbles of assent.
- Overheard by Jason
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Smells like chicken
Guy in line at book store: What happen to you and that girl?
Friend: She farted and it smelled like chicken.
Guy in line: Chicken?
Friend: Yep!
- In line at school book store. PCC
-- Overheard by Sinn
Friend: She farted and it smelled like chicken.
Guy in line: Chicken?
Friend: Yep!
- In line at school book store. PCC
-- Overheard by Sinn
Fashion PDX
Girl #1: We should go to one of the Portland Fashion Week events.
Girl #2: Portland has a Fashion Week?
Girl #3: Portland has fashion at all? And for a whole week? I figure it would take about twenty minutes to say, "Here's what's new in flip-flops and microfleece." Get serious.
- Outside of Powell's on Burnside
-- Overheard by Liana
Girl #2: Portland has a Fashion Week?
Girl #3: Portland has fashion at all? And for a whole week? I figure it would take about twenty minutes to say, "Here's what's new in flip-flops and microfleece." Get serious.
- Outside of Powell's on Burnside
-- Overheard by Liana
Friday, September 25, 2009
Legends of the Fall
Earnest young man to a young woman: September, October, November...see, they're all cold because they all have "brrrr" at the end.
- Clearing Cafe in NW PDX
-- Overheard by Carol
- Clearing Cafe in NW PDX
-- Overheard by Carol
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Cool dude
I'm boarding a plane back to PDX and a 60-70 year old man is on his phone.
Old Man: Only if she takes her boob out... Only if she shows her boob. Ok, honey, goodbye.
Submitted by dv
Old Man: Only if she takes her boob out... Only if she shows her boob. Ok, honey, goodbye.
Submitted by dv
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Mussolini
Girl: I have mussolini.
Boy: Mussolini??
Girl: Yeah isn't that what it's called?
Boy: Mussolini was an italian dictator.
Girl: Oh. then what's this called?
Boy: Muesli.
- VegFest
-- Overheard by Rebekah
Boy: Mussolini??
Girl: Yeah isn't that what it's called?
Boy: Mussolini was an italian dictator.
Girl: Oh. then what's this called?
Boy: Muesli.
- VegFest
-- Overheard by Rebekah
Monday, September 21, 2009
Marathon
A couple riding bikes past my house (SE 19th & Bybee). They were both dressed in tight black turtlenecks and stretch pants, looking like mimes or robbers.
Girl: I can’t believe Oprah ran a marathon once.
Guy: Yeah, but it took her like 10 hours.
- Overheard by Candice
Girl: I can’t believe Oprah ran a marathon once.
Guy: Yeah, but it took her like 10 hours.
- Overheard by Candice
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Foreign Exchange?
Freshman girl to upperclassman guy: I really want to do a foreign exchange to India.
Upperclassman guy replies: Wait, you want to do a porn scene with me?
- Near PSU
-- Overheard by Eric H
Upperclassman guy replies: Wait, you want to do a porn scene with me?
- Near PSU
-- Overheard by Eric H
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Debra Winger
Office workers on a smoke break: I have a blog on Debra Winger too.
- Outside office near Lloyd Center
-- Overheard by Eric
- Outside office near Lloyd Center
-- Overheard by Eric
Rice
Asian girl to Asian boyfriend (suprised): ohh my gosh I haven't had any rice today! That's like really bad for your body.
- Beaverton Dennys
-- Overheard by bigmanbeats
- Beaverton Dennys
-- Overheard by bigmanbeats
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Grilled
Someone screaming into a cell phone: OOOHHHHH. that is messed up. i took an
extra shift at work to buy you a grill and you don't even pick up my call? that is messed up. $120 grill and you can't even pick up my phone call? that is messed up. i've been at work since noon working to buy you that. fuck you man, fuck you.
- Safeway parking lot on mlk/ainsworth
-- Overheard by Kate
extra shift at work to buy you a grill and you don't even pick up my call? that is messed up. $120 grill and you can't even pick up my phone call? that is messed up. i've been at work since noon working to buy you that. fuck you man, fuck you.
- Safeway parking lot on mlk/ainsworth
-- Overheard by Kate
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Walk it off
Father to crying son (about 8 years old) in a wheelchair: Walk it off!
- State Fair
-- Overheard by Kim, who writes: "Definitely going for that Father of the Year award."
- State Fair
-- Overheard by Kim, who writes: "Definitely going for that Father of the Year award."
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Taxi
Guy in line to friend: She was too old to do the walk of shame so I called her a cab.
Friend: I do not think it is a good idea to sleep with your professors
- Overheard by Sinn
Friend: I do not think it is a good idea to sleep with your professors
- Overheard by Sinn
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Whatever gets the job done
Co-worker #1 after hanging up the phone: Jim says he's going to go get on Monica.
[pause]
Co-worker #2 : Umm... Well, that's a motivational tool that I hadn't thought of.
- Overheard by Byron
[pause]
Co-worker #2 : Umm... Well, that's a motivational tool that I hadn't thought of.
- Overheard by Byron
Dollar's worth
Crazy guy on the yellow line: I'll kill a guy for a penny. That way if I kill a hundred people, I'll have a dollar.
- Overheard by Michele
- Overheard by Michele
Saturday, August 29, 2009
An honest wish
Girl in late 20s leaving a port-o-potty: These things make me wish I had a penis.
- During the Flaming Lips/Cat Power/Juliette Lewis concert at Edgefield
-- Submitted by Eric Harker
- During the Flaming Lips/Cat Power/Juliette Lewis concert at Edgefield
-- Submitted by Eric Harker
Weiner cow
I have my mini dachshund who has the color scheme of a brown cow and is really rare because of this.
Drunk Guy (sounds like an inebriated surfer): Woah! Man! What is that?
Me: Pardon?
Drunk Guy: Is that a dog? What kind of dog is that?
Me: A miniature dachshund.
Drunk Guy: When did they start makin' 'em like that?
Me: 2005.
- Amnesia Brewing
-- Submitted by DJ
Drunk Guy (sounds like an inebriated surfer): Woah! Man! What is that?
Me: Pardon?
Drunk Guy: Is that a dog? What kind of dog is that?
Me: A miniature dachshund.
Drunk Guy: When did they start makin' 'em like that?
Me: 2005.
- Amnesia Brewing
-- Submitted by DJ
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