Monday, December 29, 2008

After the pillow fight

One girl to another: Am I gay enough for you?

- Bedroom
-- Submitted by MB on behalf of TW

Thursday, December 25, 2008


Guy 1: Great white sharks don't eat people, just seals.
Girl: But we look like seals.
Guy 2: I don't feel like I look like a seal...

- Sellwood
-- Overheard by Lauren

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Woman: I guess the people at Lloyd Center aren't used to people bringing their own shopping bags.

Man: Yeah.

Woman: Plastic bags kill the earth.

- 11th and Holladay

-- Overheard by Michele

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Day After Tomorrow

During the first Sunday of the huge snowstorm:

Girl 1: Oh my gosh, it’s all snowy downtown.

Girl 2: Did the river freeze?

- Overheard by Bailey

Monday, December 22, 2008


A guy is walking down Couch in the Pearl District, talking on his hands-free bluetooth loud enough for the entire street to hear.

Guy: I mean, these chicks were strippers, and they didn't even have ABS! What the FUCK?!?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Kid stories

Guy at a bus stop on Grand, in the deep snow: Give a mouse a cookie, it will summon an ice-queen.

- Overheard by Joe

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Monkey business

Boy #1: My monkey kills people!
Boy #2: That's not a nice monkey.
Boy #1: It's the same monkey you have.

- Conestoga School

-- Overheard by Julie


A little girl is walking with her family on SW Broadway downtown.

Little girl: (shoving a handful of snow from the sidewalk in her mouth): MMM! I love eating snow!

Mom: Oh honey, not downtown. That's not a good choice.

- Overheard by Kimberly

Friday, December 19, 2008

Curse of the Bourgeoisie

Early 20s girl: I need to be rich when i grow up, cuz i'm such a slob. I will have to be able to afford a maid to clean for me. I am not going to be stuck cleaning my mansion every weekend.

- Overheard by SmB

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Freak of Nature

While watching TV...

Girl 1: Look at that cow! Or horse...or...what the fuck is that?
Girl 2: A donkey.

- In Sellwood

-- Overheard by Lauren

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Video of the Week: Shoe Toss Uncensored Footage

While this is funny and all, I think we really ought to be throwing the Book at torture-monger Dick Cheney.

Monday, December 15, 2008


Portland Winter Hawks vs. Medicine Hat (Alberta) Tigers, nearly two minutes into the final period of play, overheard from a group of teenage males in section 68:

"Medicine Hat... must be from Canada."

- Overheard by Steve


At KFC a very large woman was in front of my sister in line. She orders a large bucket of chicken.

Guy at the counter: Is that for here or to go?

Woman: Bas'cuse me muthafucka?! You think I can eat a whole bucket of chicken by myself?!

Guy at the counter: Bitch I don't know your life!

- Overheard by Hannah

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Video of the Week: Tradeshow Magic

In this video, my friend Scott Tokar shows us some marketing magic at the SC08 conference. In case you're wondering, setting up this kind of fun stuff is my day job.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Kitty Castration

My coworker, on her cell phone: So, I can take my kitty to you now, right? You'll cut his nuts off?

- Overheard by Elizabeth

Monday, December 08, 2008

The High Price of Gelato

Woman: So, what do think? Is going to the frozen yogurt place too much of a girl thing?

Bartender: Well yeah, but gay men like it too. I mean, as long as you let your boyfriend talk baseball or something afterwards.

Woman: Would a trip to the strip joint make up for it?

Boyfriend: Awesome, dude! We're going to Sassy's!

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Rich

Cinnabonfire of the Vanities

Overweight woman pushing her sleeping infant in a stroller and talking to herself so that everyone around her can hear:

Mommy's been working really hard today... I think she deserves a Cinnabon.

-Washington Square Mall

-- Overheard by Michael

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Video of the Week: Sooner or Later

I love SCI-FI short films like this one.

At the end of World War II the Nazis build a time machine. This technology would enable them to snatch victory. However, nobody knows what will really happen if they succeed.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Quickie Mart

Customer: Man it's cold this morning.

Clerk: Yup. This is the time of year when people start leaving their gloves, purses, and kids behind.

Customer: Kids?

Clerk: Oh yeah. This lady comes in here last week with kids, takes three of them across the street to daycare, but she friggin forgets the littlest one here. She comes running in five minutes later in a panic: "Oh my god, have you seen my kid?" Yeah, I tell her, she's right here behind the counter.

- Thurman Market
-- Overheard by Rich

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

"Some of my best friends are gay."

Male customer addressing woman behind the counter, and for whatever reason he's just discovered that she works with her partner.

Man: So she's your husband, or... life partner?
Woman: We have kids together and grandkids.
Man: OK, so she's the man and you're the girl?
Woman, somewhat flabbergasted: I'm a girl, yes.
Man: That makes sense, then. You're subtle, because you're the girl. She's out and loud because she's the man.
Woman, smirking: Sure. She makes the money and I spend it.
Man: That's the way it should be.

- Overheard by Dave in Beaverton

Monday, December 01, 2008

Only in Portland

One student to another (about an orange): Is it organic or conventional?

- at PSU

-- Overheard by Marianna