Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Does she? Or doesn't she?

Woman: "So, how old do you think I am?"

Various men sitting around her (trying to be polite): "35, 40...etc.)."

Woman: "Actually, I'm 22...I've just done a lot of heroin."
Then, proceeds to address the entire bus: "Don't ever do heroin, or you'll look like me!"

- Trimet bus

-- Overheard by Jersey

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Double trouble

Woman: "How are the twins doing?"

Man: "They're like dogs who can work doors."

- Nob Hill Tavern

-- Overheard by Rich

Monday, May 29, 2006

Dog eared

Woman #1: "The dog keeps peeing in Wilson's office."

Woman #2: "Have you told him?"

Woman #1: "Yes, but he keeps doing it anyway."

- McMenamins Tavern & Pool

-- Overheard by Rich

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Time for reflection

Woman #1: "How long is this country going to keep obsessing about illegal immigration?"

Woman #2: "How long can you stare in the mirror?"

- Atlantis Lounge

-- Submitted by Rich

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Spare some change?

Guy: "If the city reallly wants to get rid of panhandlers, they should start with Paul Allen."

- Mash Tun

-- Submitted by Rich

Friday, May 26, 2006

Flakes on a Train

Girl (in a very loud voice): "Well, you and John and me are the only three people who know she screwed him once. And now she's pregnant."

Me, to myself: "Not anymore - everyone in a 20-foot radius now has the scoop as well."

- crowded MAX Blue Line

-- Submitted by Betsy

Thursday, May 25, 2006

New Old soft drink

Waitress: "I'm zoning; I need some caffeine."

Bartender: "RC doesn't have caffeine."

Waitress: "What? I mean, it's cola. Well, at least it's got sugar, right?"

Batender: "Nope. Corn Syrup."

Waitress: "Christ!"

- New Old Lompoc

-- Submitted by Rich

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Family Feud

Jen Lane, game-show host: "Name something you do when you have a crush."

Stripper contestant: "Sleep with him."

Jen Lane, game-show host: "I'm going to give you that one with our number six answer: Act Retarded."

- Ash Street Saloon

-- Submitted by Rich

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Naming convention

Guy #1: "Cool trailer! I'm going to go see that new Miami Vice movie."

Guy #2: "Really? What's it called?"

Guy #1: "Umm, Miami Vice."

- Ash Street Saloon

Submitted by Rich

Monday, May 22, 2006

Pearl blackout

Daycare lady #1: "I just called PGE and they don't know when the lights will come back on."

Daycare lady #2: "Lucky I signed up for wind power."

- Kindercare

-- Submitted by Rich

Sunday, May 21, 2006

In that case, Supersize me!

Fry cook: "These fries are all cold!"

Manager lady: "Well, re-fry them...Hey wait. What are you doing? I was kidding!"

- McDonalds

-- Overheard by Lester

Friday, May 19, 2006

Live long and prosper

Kid: "What's a Republican?"

Dad: "They're the people in charge who don't believe in evolution."

Kid: "So they don't die?"

- Emanuel Hospital

-- Overheard by Maxster

Doctor term for "runny nose"

Man: "You must have had a tremendous downpressure in your nasal cavity."

- Nob Hill Tavern

-- Submitted by Rich

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Chop, then add gravy

Man: "Then he got on me to cut costs wherever I can."

Woman: "So what did you say?"

Man: "Give me raise and I'll think about it."

- E San

-- Submitted by Rich

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Espresso salvation

Dude #1: "Man, I give up. You find one for me."

Dude #2: "I'm looking at these ads with a fresh eye for you...Here's one; says she's "Secure in Jesus Coffee."

- Santa Fe

-- Submitted by Alphmale

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Not self-conscious

Guy: "What are you reading?"

Gal: "It's called, What Does it Mean to be Conscious?"

Guy: "Mmmm. Might put me to sleep."

- White Eagle Saloon

-- Submitted by Rich

Monday, May 15, 2006

More of a guideline than a rule

Woman to man: "Just because I'm against infidelity doesn't mean I want to stop seeing you."

- Amnesia Brewing

-- Submitted by eSStep

Sunday, May 14, 2006

out kids

Kid: "I have lots of friends who are gay."
Man: "Really? How old are you?"
Kid: "Twelve."
Lady: "Wow! Things have really change since we grew up. I think it's great that they can be out like that already."
Man: "I just remember the girls in eighth grade being really mean."

- John's Landing

-- Submitted by Rich

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Celebrity lookalike

Guy #1: "I'll bet she gets a lot of googles."

Guy #2: "Yeah. Britney freakin' Spears."

- MuMu's

-- Submitted by Rich
Man alone in the shadows: "This used to be such a quiet street."

- NW Kearney St

-- Submitted by Rich

Friday, May 12, 2006

Spikes her coffee maybe

Drunk Woman: "You don't see that much...the spikeys. You don't see them spikeys on black guys much."

Guy: (removing earphones) "What?"

Drunk Woman:

"Are you gay? Cuz it's okay to be gay...even if you're in the closet. Because of the spikeys, you see. Don't see the spikeys on gay black men."
(turns to another random person) "Are you gay? Because you know, it's okay to be in the closet."
(turns back to black guy) "He needs the spikeys too, maybe you could loan him them spikeys of yours so people will know."

-Bus #33

-- Submitted by Kristen

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Liquid lunch

Older gal at bar: "Hey, what are you doing here?"
Guy (walking in): "Umm...Do I know you?"
Older gal at bar: "I'm sorry. You look just like my son with that blond hair of yours. It just didn't add up."
Guy: "It's easy--if he was here, there'd be three of us in here drinking before noon."

- Cactus Jacks

-- Submitted by Rich

A little too Granola maybe

Guy #1: "Hair? What do you mean, hair?"
Guy #2: "I mean hair. On her....boobs."
Guy #1: "Get outta' here!"
Guy #2: "I'm not freakin' kidding, man."
Guy #1: "You're not going to finish this story, are you?"

- Portland City Grill

-- Submitted by mauraw

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Probably works at the Heathman

Guy (wearing a crown and robe): Portland has really gone to shit.
Girl: Oh really?
Guy: Yeah, it's gotten so weird that the UFO's don't even land here any more.

- Downtown bus stop

-- Submitted by Daryle

Cop Karma?

Guy #1: "Rough night?"

Guy #2: "Yeah. I had this dream that I quit the force and went to work for Pepsi."

- Paragon

-- Submitted by Maxster

Tuesday, May 09, 2006 advice

Woman #1: "What did you think of my profile?"

Woman #2: "Sweetie, I don't know how to say this, but your cat is not a feature."

- Blue Moon Tavern and Grill

-- Submitted by eSStep

Too hot to handle

Counter guy: "So how'd you do last night?"

Customer: "Down in flames."

Counter guy: "I heard she was a babe."

Customer: "Dude, this chick was hot enough for five people!"

- Stepping Stone

-- Submitted by Rich

Pearl workforce

Pearlgirl #1: "The mantra for the day was 'do as little as possible'."

Pearlgirl #2: "Same here... Hey, do you know when we are getting our bonuses?"

- D.F. restaurant

-- Submitted by Rich

Monday, May 08, 2006

Eating capacity of a six-year-old

Dad: "You want ice cream? I thought you said you were full?"

Kid: "Yes, but this is going into my dessert stomach."

- Dragonfly

-- Submitted by Rich

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Re-try for the Straight Guy

Girl: "You would never be interested in me, would you?"

Guy: "Why would you say that?"

Girl: "I mean, because you're Gay, right?"

Guy: "Umm, no. Am I dressed that well?"

- MuMu's

-- Submitted by Rich

Band mergers

Bar patron: "I've got their CD. It's like Destroyer meets Bob Dylan."

Bartender: "I thought that going in, but it was more like Devo meets The Jesus Lizard."

- New Old Lompoc

-- Submitted by Rich

Like Film Noir in Real Life

Man: "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

Woman: “You’re watching someone else in this room. Is it the girl in the corner?”

- Fruition coffee shop

-- Submitted by Rich.

This small fragment of their conversation intrigued me so much, I based a short story on it.

First post: Overhead in PDX

The idea behind Overheard in PDX is not a new one--there are "Overheard" blogs for cities like New York, Chicago, and our sister city in Portland, Maine. There's even a book based on the New York version.

Portland, Oregon is as rich with conversation as any place on Earth. So I thought it was high time to share some things I've heard and invite you all to chime in.

To post on this site, just send the following information to

* What you heard
* Where you heard it