Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Tree hugger

Man (sits down next to woman at table):
"What's your name?"

Woman: "Juna."

Man: "That reminds of me of a tree... a beautiful tree."

- Blossoming Lotus (the restaurant inside Yoga in the Pearl)

-- Overheard by Leslie

Movin' on up

Father letting son out of car (a few years ago):

"Oh, and tell your mom that Weezy from 'the Jeffersons' died!"

- In front of real estate office

-- Overheard by Leslie

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Gender queue

Guys are waiting in line for a men's restroom.

Man #2: "Oh great, a line. Last time a woman came out and said that she couldn't wait."

Man #1: "I don't think it will be too long."

After a bit, an older woman comes out:
"Sorry I had an emergency."

Man #1 goes in. After a bit Man #1 comes out and says:
"Worst part is that she left the seat down!"

- Downtown restaurant

-- Overheard by Brad


Man: "Styrofoam... just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff."

- On the Max

-- Overheard by Aaron

Monday, February 26, 2007

Max penalty

Guy: "Sorry ‘bout that incident – I spent too much time in California to be puttin’ up with that…"

Gal: "Where in California?"

Guy: "San Quentin."

- On the Max

-- Overheard by Jeanie

Saturday, February 24, 2007

oh god...

Stoned Hippie girl : "The Grateful Dead makes things better; Shakespeare does not!"

- Lewis & Clark College

-- Overheard by LAB

You're as young as the woman you feel

Desperate looking middle aged guy #1: "The woman I'm hanging out with now is much younger than my ex-wife."

Desperate looking middle aged guy #2: "Nice!"

- At the bonfire

-- Overheard by Justin

Friday, February 23, 2007

Line 20 Trimet

#20 bus operator to dispatch:

"Yeah, there are a lot of warning signals on that I've never seen before. Should I be worried?"

- Driving up W. Burnside toward Washington Park

-- Overheard by The Blankenships

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Last course

Man in buffet line: "Life is short. Load up on dessert first."

- Swagat

-- Overheard by Rich

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Two forms of ID

Guy: "So how can they tell the difference between you folks on the Barfly Bus and us regulars?"

Barfly: "Umm, we're the ones with all our teeth."

- China Village

-- Overheard by Rich

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Jurassic position

Woman: "I can't believe my friend pterodactyl-ed me yesterday."

- Stumptown Coffee House

-- Overheard by Jose

Monday, February 19, 2007

Hermit envy

Man: "You can't put a price on solitude."

- Dragonfly

-- Overheard by Rich

Enough snuff

First teen: "My Mom's making me go with the family to see that Crucification of Christ movie. (The Passion of the Christ)

Second teen: "Yeah, mine keeps on about it. She's seen it, like, two times and I'm supposed go with her the next time. I told her I didn't know she was into 'snuff films'!"

First teen (after laughing): "Did she have to google that before getting mad?"

- Outside Benson High School (a couple of years ago)

-- Overheard by Vickie

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Thank God for Doppler

Mumbling man (walking in the opposite direction):

"It was the most disgusting sex I've ever had..."

- 21st & Glisan

-- Overheard by Rich

Just put an 'S' on the end of your words

Teenage girl: "Italian is just like, a type of Spanish, right?"

- Downtown

-- Overhead by Seal

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Porn Nielsen

Bartender: "So, we're at the party getting really loaded when these guys come in with a couple of 18-year-old chicks and light umbrellas and stuff like that. And then they go in the other room and start making a porn movie!"

Other Bartender: "No way!"

Bartender: "Oh yeah! And so they're in there for a while and then they come out and start partying with us. It gets really late and somebody puts the porn tape on. It's a mixed crowd and we're feeling really uncomfortable and this chick says:

'Hey! Why aren't you watching this? I'm like, totally hot!'"

- 820

-- Overheard by Rich

Friday, February 16, 2007


Jennifer writes:

My boyfriend was downtown on his bike (he was working as a courier) and an older, grizzled man, also on a bike, stopped beside him at a red light. They didn't make eye contact, just looked ahead, but after a few seconds the old guy turned and - right before furiously pedaling off - shouted:

"Einstein was a Jew, and he knew it!"

- Downtown

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The guilty patent

Guy: "You feel guilty? That's a Catholics invention."

Gal: "No. The Jews invented guilt; the Catholics perfected it."

- Salvador Mollys

-- Overheard by Rich

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Office Space

Woman on speakerphone: "I know we need to move forward, but that's not what this meeting is about..."

- Overheard in my boss' office as I walked by (on my final day as I am leaving the company)

-- Overheard by Aaron

Monday, February 12, 2007


From one woman on the bus to another one... complete strangers:

Woman #1: "Mercury goes into retrograde tomorrow."

Woman #2: "Oh yeah? What's that?"

Woman #1: "It means that in astrology Mercury will look like it's going backwards. And Mercury is the planet in charge of the post office, so we can expect a lot of foul ups."

- On the bus

-- Overheard by Sarah

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Legion 420

Man #1: "For pot smokers I'm impressed with their organizational skills."

Man #2: "And their motivation."

- Million Marijuana March

-- Overheard by Banana Lee Fishbones

Friday, February 09, 2007

17 will get you 20


"So now they decided to raise the alert level after the attack, which means now we're supposed to report any suspicious activity on mass transit. I ride the 17! I'd be worried if there were NO suspcious activity on the bus!"

- In the office lunchroom after a terror alert jump

-- Overheard by Banana Lee Fishbones

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Not Culpable

Girl: "Yeah, he got caught for humping."

Guy: "Yeah?"

Girl: "Yeah, but he have a baggy ass."

- On the Max

-- Overheard by Dyana

Bush of Ghosts

Child: "Who's that costume?"

Mom: "That's President Bush."

Child: "I can be the President for Halloween!"

Mom: "No no, honey, you're smarter than that."

Child: "But you say the President is scary."

- Mall 205 Target

-- Overheard by Banana Lee Fishbones

PU Policy

"Not everybody owns a restaurant. Not everybody thinks it's ok that you smell like french fries."

- Middle of an office building for a Fortune 500 company in the Couve

-- Overheard by Aaron

Modesty Blasés

Two girls sitting in bar.

Girl #1: "I am super attractive. I just don't understand."
Girl #2: "I know!"
Girl #1: (Gets up and attempts to look at her own backside): "C'mon, look at my ass! It's great!"
Girl #2: (Taking a loooong drink from her beverage): "I know!"

- Clinton St. Brewing

-- Overheard by Mike

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Not on my Valentine's Day!

Woman's voice from behind apartment door: "Ballet?! FUCK BALLET!"

- Waiting for the elevator

-- Overheard by lab

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Amazon Crush

Guy #1: "Wow! Did you ever see a woman palm a whole pitcher like that?"

Guy #2: "No, but she's one mountain I'd like to climb."

- Cactus Jacks

-- Overheard by Rich

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Spam Hall of Fame

Guy: "I got spam today with the best subject line EVER!"

Girl: "What was that?"

Guy: "It said: load bearing salad dressing."

- MuMu's

-- Overheard by Rich

Friday, February 02, 2007

Probably happens in Hillsboro all the time

Girl on cellphone:

"I had one of those things happen that could only happen in Portland ...
... I accidentally maced my best friend's boyfriend...
... well, I didn't know it was mace!"

-NW 10th and Glisan

--Overheard by Awkward_Boy

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Blazers' Mom?

Guy: "So I'm sitting in the Lake O Safeway, waiting for my car to get fixed. And I'm thinking like, I'm the only black person in this whole freaking town. All of a sudden this black lady in her pajamas comes walking in pushing a cart and she says,

'What are you doing here?'"

- Museum After Hours

-- Overheard by Rich