Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Video: The Guardian's End, a short story

In this video, I read my latest short story, The Guardian's End. Recorded at the Famous People Stories open mic event on June 25, 2011. The full text is online at

Video: Famous People Stories Live from Joe's Cellar June 25, 2011

Cat Stories presents Famous People Stories Live June 25, 2011.

The Meat Man

Punk rocker chick 1: I didn't know people went door to door selling meat.

Punk rocker chick 2:
Yeah, someone told me The Meat Man came up to their door, and I was like, dude, ew...

- In front of my apartment building
-- Overheard by Dylan.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Hipster dude, while eating a salmon & cracker appetizer and drinking a beer: So I'm trying to get food stamps because I got fired from my job...

Later, same guy: "So is everyone tipping? Because I can't afford to tip."

- At a bistro in SE last night
-- Overheard by notmyname

Friday, June 17, 2011

Cat Stories Presents: Famous People Stories June 25 at Joe's Cellar

Cat Stories Productions presents: Famous People Stories on Saturday, June 25 at 10:00am at Joe's Cellar.

We need your stories!
Got a story about when you came across someone famous? Get up on stage and tell your tale while the band performs a musical accompaniment.

Tree Hugger

Mother to little boy: Hug a tree! Hug a tree! Be a tree hugger! Hug a tree! ... That's not a tree!

- In front of the Grocery Outlet at SE Flavel and 72nd
-- Overheard by Donna

Friday, June 10, 2011

Do it again

Younger lady to drunken older man: I want you to go home. Go home and pass out. Tomorrow get up and do it all over again. And for the love of God, go buy some cat food.

- Walking down NW 21st @ 2:30 in the morning
-- Overheard by Vera

Monday, June 06, 2011

Moonwoods Event June 24

Our friends at Moonwoods are hosting a gallery event on Friday, June 24 at 5:00-10:00pm. Check out the works of local designers and enjoy a beverage in the NW Industrial District.

Leave trouser bulges to the boys

Location: Jiggles Strip Club & Juice Bar (it seriously is a juice bar)

I'm in a stall in the girls bathroom @ Jiggles (bad idea), and two strippers (employees, dancers, whatever) are in the other two stalls.

Stripper 1:
Yea, but I didn't want to tell him I was on my period, so we just had sex with it still in.
Stripper 2: Your tampon!?
Stripper 1: Yea. Dude, it feels REALLY good with a tampon in.
Stripper 2: Oh I know!

As I emerge from the stall, quickly...they walk out of their stalls at the same time.

Both Strippers at same time to me:
Oh hey sweetie!

- Overheard by Sarah


Hipster girl to hipster friend: "I just want to be, like, really hot."

- Little T Bakery
-- Overheard by Kristen

Thursday, June 02, 2011


"I can probably score us a fat hit of chronic, and it’s all good if we get the munchies cuz I get my food stamps on Friday."

- Beaverton Max Station
-- Overheard by Kyle