A Woman's Scorn

Drunk pixie in booth: "I swear, I must have told over 300 people how small his penis is."

- Billy Ray's Neighborhood Dive

-- Overheard by 22oz Pabst

Crack

Drunk Dude #1: "I saw your butt crack."

Drunk Dude #2: "My butt crack is majestical like a lion."

- On the steps of the Wellesley Court Apartments

-- Overheard by b!X

24 months to go

Kid walking: "Daddy, are you voting for President?"

Daddy: "No. The President gets to keep his job for two more years."

Man walking by: "Two long years."

- Bull Ring

-- Overheard by Rich

Scratch the hotties

Woman on cell phone: "He said he didn't want anyone he'd ever considered dating at his wedding, so I'm not invited."

- SW Third and Taylor

-- Overheard by Cat

Too young to be PC

White boy, 8 or 9 years old to 30ish african american cashier: "You're a brown girl; i like brown girls."

Cashier: "Oh, that's so cute."

- Checkout at gateway fred meyers

-- Overheard by carywd

More of a guideline than a rule?

Man with woman walking dog: "The rule was: you weren't supposed to drink any f***ing whiskey! That means no f***ing hard liquor!"

- Faulkner Alternators

-- Overheard by Rich

Tat tutor

Coming out of a PE class:

girl in mid-20s: "Where did you get your tattoos?"

guy in early-30s: "Prison."

girl: "Oh, I guess I can't go there, can I?"

- PCC Sylvania campus

-- Overheard by The Blankenships

Something smells funny in Eugene

After the Decemberists' show on Wednesday night:

Girlfriend: "I have to go to the bathroom!"

German major # 1: "Wait until we get outside and piss in the street. That's how we do it in Eugene."

German major # 2: "No we don't. We piss on our own front doors!"

German major #1: "And when we aren't at home, we piss on der dummkopf!"

German major #2: "Piss on der dummkopf!"

German major # 1 and # 2: [chanting] "Piss on der dummkopf! Piss on der dummkopf!"

- Stairwell at the Crystal Ballroom

-- Overheard by Brandon

As if he'd want you to

Six Foot Transvestite: "As if I'd want to work my whole life making some rich, straight white man richer."

- Fat Tire Farm

--Overheard by Rich

Prices SoLo

Gal: "How much did you say that beer was?"

Guy: "Seven bucks."

Gal: "That's a lot for a bar in Portland."

Guy: "Maybe we're supposed to keep the glass."

- SoLo

-- Overheard by Rich

Pennyless is Timelessness

Teenager: "Dude, can you spare some change?"

Man: "Sure, kid."

Teenager: "Thanks, that's cool. So, how's it going for you today?"

Man: "What can I say? It's Friday."

Teenager (bugeyed): "It's Friday? Oh man, I am so screwed."

- Blue Moon Cafe

-- Overheard by Rich

Choose your way out

Woman #1: "How do you want to go?"

Woman #2: "I'd prefer to be suffocated."

- Blue Moon Tavern

-- Overheard by Rich

Bubble numbers

Lady Real Estate Agent: "You bought it two months ago? Sorry. You can't use that number for market value."

- Dragonfly

-- Overheard by Rich

Even if I did, we were on a break!

30's man and woman couple
Him (screaming): "I told you at lunch and I'll tell you again, I did not f*ck her!"

- NW Park Blocks

-- Overheard by John

Nerds

Girl 1: "It's almost like I'd rather have no scene than a nerd scene."

Girl 2: "Yeah, nerd scenes are the worst."

- Floyd's Coffee Shop

-- Overheard by b!X