Key Caps

Mother to Child: "The key to life is communication! This means tell grandma where you're going!"

- Washington Square Mall

-- Overheard by Molly

Female Cache Memory

Guy #1: "You know why women don't listen?"

Guy #2: "No. Why?"

Guy #1: "Because they're too busy memorizing every word you've ever said."

- MuMu's

-- Overheard by Rich

Cage Match

Guy (Speaking to himself): "Maaaan, Nicholas Cage is in three movies just on this one rack. Asshole."

- Hollywood Video (West Burnside)

-- Overheard by MJS on 12/24

Fountain of Youth

Bouncer (looking at ID): "Wow! 1962? What's your secret?"

Guy: "You're as young as the woman you feel."

- Towne Lounge

-- Overheard by Rich

Scoots of Rock

A car pulls up next to me.

Guy 1: "We're putting the *band* back together!"

Guy 2: "Wanna come along?"

They drive away without waiting for an answer.

- Downtown gas station parking lot

-- Overheard by Brandon

Shaq attack

Large black guy, singing: "My name is O'Neal Shaquille!" (giggles) "You know Jesus, he have a crush on everybody!"

- #14 Hawthorne Bus to Portland

-- Overheard by L.A.B.

Best Defense

Woman: "You write cursive. That means you're defensive."

Guy: "No I'm not!"

- MuMu's

-- Overheard by Rich

Sticker Shock

Customer #1: "You've got something stuck to your back."

Barista: "I do? What is it?"

Customer #1: "I don't know, I didn't catch it."

Customer #2: "It says, 'Use First.'"

Barista: "It does?"

Customer #2: "Yeah."

Barista: "Awesome."

- Floyd's Coffee Shop

-- Overheard by b!X

Ma-kin' Copies

Woman #1 in office: “What’s a good exercise for the abs?”

Woman #2 in office: “Well, I can think of one thing that’s good for the abs…”

Woman #3 in office: “Yeah, but only if he can last longer than a minute or two!”

Forgotten copier repairman, coming out from under the copier: “Thanks ladies, it’s been an educational afternoon.”

- Portland office

-- Overheard by Pez