Crazy Train

Loud, maniacal laughter from the back of the train.

Hacking up of phlegm.

More maniacal laughter.

Another hack of phlegm.

(This symphony of madness continuing from Old Town to Gateway)

- On the Max

-- Overheard by a very unlucky commuter

The Hypocritical Hobo

Homeless guy sitting under the awning at Jake's on a rainy day, to me and the boyfriend: Pussies, wearing an umbrella!

- Overheard by Jen

Is that sort of like Cher?

Hipster #1 (shaking hands with Hipster #2): I'm Aaron.
Hipster #2: Wilderness.
Aaron: Wilderness?
Wilderness: Yeah.

- Near Coffee Time, NW 21st, 1/26, 8:20pm

-- Overheard by Jen

Just Another Night in Felony Flats

"…took my wallet, beat me up, and left me on the side of the road for dead."

- Overheard by Jack

Wide ride

Big Woman: It was so Larry David; it's not that my ass is too big, this cab is too small!

- Swagat

-- Overheard by Rich

Pre-booty call

Thirtysomething woman on her cell phone while shopping for shoes: No... No, not those. The Trojans... Yes they do... Yes, they do carry them. Look on the next shelf down.... Right, okay. Okay, see you tonight. Love you. Bye.

- At the mall at Pioneer Square

--Overheard by Hannah

Underhood

Girl to a stranger in a hoodie: I've got a pair of underwear with a similar print. (pause) It looks better on a hoodie though.

- Waiting for a table at Cricket Cafe

-- Overheard by Marianna

Sheep

Old, Greek man to a class on a field trip: You are like sheep! You don't move!

- Overheard by Blair

Congrats?

So I was walking with my friend in the halls of my High School and there was (like always) a wall of people blocking our way to class and so my Friend Yells:

Friend (Male): I'M PREGNANT!

Wall of People: Blank Stares

Friend: Get the fuck out of my Way I need to get to class.

-At Aloha High School

-- Overheard by Classy Viking

Step on a crack

Girl 1: It was hilarious! He had broken his back in like, three places...
Girl 2: No way! Wait, he was the one in the wheelchair, right?
Girl 1: Yeah, yeah.

- 'round Lincoln High School.

-- Overheard by Erich

Uber Polka

Woman 1: Did you have polka at your wedding?
Woman 2: All of it.

- At a Birthday Party in SE Portland 1/13

-- Overheard by Paul

Racist stoner

Skinny white boy: Oh man...I am way too stoned to deal with black people right now...

- Next to the Clackamas Town Center

--Overheard by Ali

Air mail

Drunk man, excitedly: I'd like two tickets to Alaska!
Woman at counter: Sir, this is a post office.

- Broadway and NW Hoyt

-- Overheard by SkyB

The Moo Moo Dolls?

Girl with purple hair: Did you say bar girls? There's a big difference between barn girls and bar girls.

- Overheard by Aaron on MAX downtown

Two Girls: One smelling legs, the other reassured

Girl #1: Your leg smells like skin
Girl #2: Good. I'm glad it doesn't smell like flesh this time.

- In the study room at my high school

-- Overheard by Leslie

mega meta

After the opening night performance of Third Rail Rep's "Shining City":

"There was a lot of metaphor."

- At the IFCC

-- Overheard by Steve

Camus Can Do, but Sartre is Smarter

Describing her PSU grad course on Kierkegaard: And then there are all these ‘philosophy boys’ in there who are trying to out-Nietzsche each other.

- Overheard by Gm. at Portland Public Schools administrative office

you're not from around here, dude

While eating lunch in Whole Foods on Burnside.

Woman and her pre-school age daughter taking a seat next to a 20 something hipster kid. The mother and daughter are conversing in Dutch. Their husband joins them moments later with their lunch. The wife briefly goes to fetch a napkin.

Twenty something hipster: So are both of you French?

Husband, pointing to where his wife was sitting: She's Dutch, I'm Gringo

Twenty something hipster: So you're Mexican?

- Overheard by Patrick

Tapped

Freshman Boy #1: Okay so—did you just tap my ass?

Freshman Boy #2: I think I just might’ve.

Freshman Boy #1: Oh, okay.

- In the hallway

-- Overheard by Leslie

Parasol

Female street kid (to male street kid): You look like you take it up the butt holding that umbrella.

- Outside Pioneer Square

-- Overheard by Lindsay

Interesting wardrobe

In Buffalo Exchange on Hawthorne:

Girl: I thought you didn't like 'busy patterns.'
Guy: No...hmm...I pick out my clothes based purely on what they would look like on LSD.
Girl: Oh...
Guy: ...and this shirt would look pretty f*cking cool.

- Overheard by Ali

Upside down

I overheard this in the hallways during passing time in my high school. Two freshmen boys were talking to each other:

Kid: Maybe the world is upside down.
Kid #2: Maybe we're all upside down.
Kid: Maybe there is no upside down.
Kid #2: Shut up.

- Overheard by Alma

Beaver believer

Woman #1: My friend was getting a Brazilian and halfway through she started getting up. The woman asked her, "What about the other side?" She said, "I don't care. I just can't take it any more."

Woman #2: Geez. I must have a tough one, then.

- Revive coffee

-- Overheard by Rich

Death Vegan

Girl to girl in line: I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am, because I hate vegtables and think they all should die.

-Powell Books

--Overheard by Sinn

Cutters

20-something: Man, he must be from Corvallis. Everyone from Corvallis' a cutter.

...Just after having a short conversation about the ethics of cutting (in line) with the little boy in front of him who had just cut in line.

- Overheard by Erich

Meds

Gas attendant (to cashier): I am fucked up in the I take the meds they just dont seem to work.

Cashier: Speechless

- Overheard by sinn

The Lost 'Hair' Lyrics

Bartender: His hair was like a mad scientist.

Owner: He was drunk.

Bartender: He was?

Owner: Well, his hair was drunk.

- Morrison Street Grill

-- Overheard by b!X