Role reversal

Girl on the phone: Well he's cute, but he isn't that cute to ruin your life over.
*pause*
Girl on the phone: Yeah, even then you'll still have a job.
*pause*
Girl on the phone: Love you Mom, talk to you later.

- On the Max
-- Overheard by Zac

Numbers

Woman (to her male friend): I am trying to figure out how long 14 minutes and 6 minutes is in total.
Male Friend: 20 minutes.
Woman: Regular math and time math are the same?

- Yellow line MAX
--Overheard by Benja

Dissection of my divorce

Gal: The secret to a lasting marriage is to have separate blankets. It's a like a metaphor--you're sharing a bed but you wrap yourselves in your own separate comfort and self-esteem.

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Rich

Oh, yeah? Your mother...

Guy 1: The fish tacos are really good here.

Guy 2: Your mom's fish taco is really good.

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by John, who writes: "LOL, your mom riffs get me every time."

Om Amen

Guy at Bar: Buddha meets JC? What is that? The next Debate?

- Muu-Muu's

-- Overheard by Rich, who was trying to explain why the upcoming Bearing Witness conference is bringing together meditators from Buddhism and Christianity for the first time ever on Oct. 10-12 here in PDX.

Video of the Week: Story of a Sign

I was in New York last week and I noticed how the homeless there just shake their change cups and never speak until spoken to. Very different than Portland.

And then when I got back, someone sent me this wonderful film called Historia de un letrero. Watch how, with a stroke of the pen, a stranger transforms the afternoon for another man in this emotionally stirring short film by Alonso Alvarez.

Dont read this until you see the film:

This film won the Cannes short film award. And I thought a while about just why this film strikes such a chord.
Here is my take:

For most of our lives, we are all the blind man who cannot see the beautiful day.

Still Dead

Two middle aged white trashy looking women:

Lady #1: How's Carrie?
Lady #2: She's dead, remember? Her dad killed her...(said very matter of fact)
Lady #1: Oh, that's right.

- On the #77
-- Overheard by Deb

Burger King RIFF

Guy on Cell phone: You want to do something tonight, I have the night off from work, I was fired. Yeah, the reason was bullshit, I know they did it because I was 2 months away from my 6 month evaluation and they didn't want to give me a raise.

- On the #14 bus

-- Overheard by Deb

Daddy's Little Girl

Small child to her father: You're a sad puppy, that burps. You're a stinky puppy, that's sad, and burps.

- On the bus yesterday afternoon

-- Overheard by Elizabeth

I think I know this woman...

Two men discussing the women who work in a downtown law firm:

Guy 1: What's that attorney's name again? Stacey?

Guy 2: Yeah.

Guy 1: She's a freak too man. All these women are freaks. Why was she wearing a see-through shirt like that?

Guy 2: I don't know man...

Guy 1: Must be her age. Women at that age have reached their sexual peak.

- Restroom
-- Overheard by Skip

Born on a bad sign

Male cashier to female cashier: Hey, that's my pen.

Female cashier: No it's not, Kayla gave me this pen.

Male cashier: Kayla and I have the same birthday.

Female cashier: But you hate Kayla.

Male cashier: I know, isn't that weird?

- Downtown RiteAid
-- Overheard by a different Rich

Water bored

Girl #1: What's the opposite of constipation?
Girl #2: I dunno. Diarrhea?
Girl #1: Well. What's the opposite of constipation that's not diarrhea?
(Pause as Girl #2 thinks this over.)
Girl #1: All I know is that I sure have been drinking a lot of water this weekend and it hasn't been good.

- Heard through the vent in the Buffalo Exchange dressing room. These girls were probably next door trying on clothes in Red Light and had no idea that several people could hear every word that they were saying.

-- Overheard by Autum

Our Survey Says!

Cops are loading notoriously belligerent Homeless Guy into the CHIERS van on NW 23rd.

Surveyor at tripod (into his radio): Are they taking his belongings?

Voice on Radio: No, they are leaving his cart behind. You can probably get whatever you want out of it in a minute.

Surveyor at tripod: They are just going to make a bad situation worse; he'll get out and have to steal to fill up his cart again.

Voice on Radio: Right behind you, headed North. Killer Redhead!

- NW 23rd and Marshall

-- Overheard by Rich

Another side effect of smoking

Old man to young lady smoking a cigarette: You know you really shouldn't smoke!

Young lady: Why not?

Old man: Because if you smoke you will only attract low lifes who smoke too...

- Dublin Pub

-- Overheard by Lori

Overlooked in PDX: Phone to Terabithia?

7187 sends us this pic of a touchtone phone near Overlook footbridge.

Nun Bun

Kid: Look mommy, a witch!!
Mommy: No honey, that's a nun.

- At Mt. Angel Oktoberfest while everyone was watching the glockenspiel chime
-- Overheard by Natalie

T15

Voice heard from my apartment window, 3am on Friday: Dude, the economy is so bad, it's like $15 for a legit T-shirt.

- Overheard by Carissa

Hey, nena!

Techie Coworker: Dude, do me a favor. When you know she's looking, go to HotHispanicChicks.com.

- MAX Blue Line, Beaverton Central

-- Overheard by Jeff

Drill, Baby, Drill!!!

Woman: I work with Sarah Palin's Uncle, and I can't say anything because people around me are like "Oh yeah, she is sooo great!"

Man: Obama totally got outplayed on that VP pick. He's betting on the intelligence of the American electorate. Karl Rove is betting on the stupidity of the American Electorate and that is why they're going to win.

- Wilf's

-- Overheard by Rich

Human Canvas Project

One of the Human Canvas Project canvases: Can somebody blow on my butt-crack?

- Overheard backstage at the recent Human Canvas Project at The Fez, after the models' whole bodies were painted white. The paint wasn't drying quickly enough for some.

Our???

Man on cell describing his weekend: Then Saturday we got a wild hair up our butt...

- Overheard by So that’s what makes hairs wild

Gentlemen Prefer Hanes

Office troubleshooter, on phone: We’re going to have to put pantyhose on the monster, because we need control.

- In the office

-- Overheard by lauraf

Baby maker

Young guy talking with young woman, back of crowded #77 bus: I make beautiful babies.

- Overheard by Kimberley, who writes: "Nice pick-up line, dude."

Bumble Bee

14 year old boy to his friend: I've never been able to figure out how the Transformers are able to see in car form.

- In Forest Park yesterday afternoon

-- Overheard by Elizabeth

Video of the Week: Portland, Oreganic

Here is the film that should have won the Merc's video contest for "My Pretty Portland." Probably NSFW.

Deep

Woman: If you drop a pickle or a bratwurst down her throat, it's gone.

- Outside of Crush

-- Overheard by b!X

Suddenly, Seymour

Female college student to her roommate: The original tentacle porn... Little Shop of Horrors.

- Overheard by lshaver

Rug burn

College girl #1: Larry's rug is a trap!
College girl #2: Her rug has a penis?

- Overheard by lshaver

Video of the Week: Hadron Collider Rap

You know what? Bad rap music can be extremely compelling and informative:

"Science can be pretty weird, especially theoretical physics, but weirder still is watching someone rapping about the Large Hadron Collider. (That's the giant device in Switzerland that will recreate the Big Bang, among other things.) Time to recalibrate your strangeness meters - science writer Kate McAlpine and some friends filmed themselves busting various moves deep in the caverns of the LHC while Kate dropped mad verse about the collider."

So if this thingy helps us figure out how the Universe works, think it will know what to do if we end up with Mama-Kass-Palin as just one bad ticker away from the Presidency?

Not so sharpie

Ditzy-looking teenage blonde: WASHABLE markers?  Like, why would you want to wash the markers off the paper?

Much less ditzy-looking redhead: That's...really not what they mean, you know.

- In the craft aisle at the Oak Grove Fred Meyer
-- Overheard by Lachwen

The Wait Out

Guy #1: It's cuz your untrustworthy dude. Like for example, I wouldn't leave you alone with my girlfriend.
Guy #2: That's cuz your gay.

- Overheard by John in the beer isle at Tigard Fred Meyers