Everything under one roof

Hipster: Oh, yeah, the Barnes and Noble here is the best place to take a shit.

-- Lloyd Center Mall
- Overheard by Lisa

Female Circumcision

In our birthing class in Clackamas today...

Instructor: Boys aren't routinely circumcised anymore. It's about 50/50 now.

Father-to-be: What about girls?

- Overheard by Marc

Soon to be over relationship

Girl 1 to Girl 2: And then he said to me "I thought we agreed we weren't seeing anyone else anymore." Then she laughed.

- Overheard by Kirsten

Adoption

Guy 1: Wasn't your ex-girlfriend adopted from some country?
Guy 2: No, not her. My current girlfriend. She is Korean, and she's adopted.
Guy 1: (pause) . . . What's up with Koreans and adoption anyway?

- Muu-Muu's
-- Overheard by Chris

Paint it Black

Man on cellphone trying to console friend (very loudly):
I don't know why women find you unattractive, Frank!
*brief silence*
Well go and paint yourself black if you think it'll do any good!

- Pioneer Square Starbucks
--Overheard by Frank

Pig in a Poke

Blonde Girl: I wanna get a mini pig
Brunette Girl: They don't stay mini the whole time
Blonde Girl: I know, but I want to take it put it in a skirt and a little mini diaper and prance it around. At least as long as it is still cute.

- In a public hot tub in my apt building near PSU campus.
-- Overheard by Jake

Neither lender or borrower be

Guy to punk rock girlfriend: I've never done tweek in my life! I have sold it though...

- Outside the downtown library
--Overheard by Hank

When you need it bad, get it at Plaid

Woman behind me in line to employee with shit eating grin:

Woman: Hey, how's it going"

Employee: Really good! My friend just harvested a new crop!

Woman: No shit!

Employee: I've sold two ounces of mushrooms at work tonight!

- Plaid Pantry in SE
-- Overheard by tomash

Lolita

Teen Girl 1: And that's when I started to have a crush on my dad.
Teen Girl 2: Ewwww!
Teen Girl 1: But he's my *step* dad, so it's not gross.
Teen Girl 2: (looks disgusted) ...I guess.

- On bus near SE Division and 39th.
-- Overheard by Katt

The Good Ship Safeway

Guy with big bushy beard (into the payphone): Attention on deck! At e-e-ease. Attention on deck! At e-e-ease. Attention on deck! At e-e-ease. Attention on deck! At e-e-ease. Attention on deck! At e-e-ease.

- Outside the the St. Johns Safeway

-- Overheard by Mark

lethal feet

In the employee locker room of swanky downtown hotel:

Guy 1: (Cough) Dude, what is up with your socks? Was that anthrax?

Guy 2: It's magic.

Guy 1: (Cough, cough)

- Submitted by Crash

we all have to make sacrifices

Boy: My dad got rid of our cable.

His friend's mom: Why is that?

Boy: Stock market.


- Burgerville on Hawthorne
-- Overheard by awkwardboyhero