Dijon

A 71 bus pulled up next to a 75 at the stoplight near the Hawthorne Fred Meyer. The 75 driver motioned for 71 driver to open his doors, then yelled:

"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?"

- Overheard by Eph Zero

11 year olds

Co-Worker brings his son into the office.

Co-Worker: This is my son.

Me: How old are you?

Kid: 11.

Me: My son's 11. Do you know him?

- Overheard by Dave

Better living through chemicals

20 something gent to another: I'm about to get Eco-Loaded!

- Better Living Show, near Elemental Vodka station-- equipped with free samples
-- Overheard by EmmaJean

Night at the Museum

Guy to his friend at Omsi's After Dark adults only night: Dude! You gotta come play with these balls!

Me: That's what she said!

- Overheard by Jessica

Seeking nearest exit

Man to date 12:02 am New Years’ Eve during a noticeably uncelebratory conversation:
I’m a weird guy and you met me at a weird time.

Relationship status: no longer together.

- Overheard by someone

Facebook

"Yeah, I cheated on my girl just a little bit ago and then my face started to itch."

- Clark County Health Department in Vancouver
-- Overheard by Michele

Stalker

"It's kind of hard to stalk me, most of the time I don't even know what I'm doing..."

- Airport
-- Overheard by April

Taste, not technology

Man to his two young daughters while shopping for Ice Cream: All natural ingredients........No that wont taste right.

- Safeway
-- 39th & Powell by Alex

Here in White Center

20-something girl getting out of car after just having parked it on a nondescript downtown-Portland street, exclaims to anyone around to hear:

"GOD! Oregon is SO WEIRD!"

A quick glance at license plates reveals Washington plates.

- Overheard by Ed

Punch drunk love

Gentleman to his lady friend: You're the only girl I've ever been with who makes me like getting punched in the face, and I still want your snatch.

- At the bus stop this morning
-- Overheard by Elizabeth

Potential WMDs

Lady to her two young boys: STOP THAT! Those are NOT weapons!!

The two boys of about 6 were running into each other pushing New Season's miniature "helper" shopping carts"

- New Seasons @ Orenco Station (Hillsboro)
-- Overheard by Nation

Spare some change?

Outside my work on SW Broadway and Alder, by the coffeeshop, middle of the day. Two transient women were having a loud conversation, and this is what I heard:

"And I woke up this morning and all I had was nine bucks and a bag of heroin!"

- Overheard by Alexia

Almost never

Girl: Nope, I've never smoked anything before in my life.

Guy 1: Really?

Girl: Yup.

Guy 2: ...Not even crack?


- Overheard by italiamusica

Canvassor

Girl on phone: Hi...no, I don't actually want to talk to you, I just needed to look busy so those f*ckers asking for sh*t outside the library would leave me the f*ck alone. (Pauses and listens) Love you too mom, bye."

-- PSU campus
~ Overheard by Jenni, who writes: "Not that they don't annoy me as well, but wow...I laughed for the rest of the day!"

Stem cells

Woman to another woman: Obama needs to hurry up with the stem cells. I need them for my birthday next year.

- Costello's, 3/11/09, 1pm
-- Overheard by Peter

Before the shoe flew

As I am in the process of getting into my pajamas, my husband comes into the room, stops, and says:

"Wow, you're very, um, verbose."

- Overheard by Elizabeth

Four winds

Fuck dude, wind comes in multiple directions.

- Hawthorne Street
-- Overheard by Robert

Sequitur?

First woman: I couldn't do my work there anymore, so I packed up my...

Second woman: Boat horn?

First woman: ...stapler...

- Overheard by Ben

Overtweaked

At Saturday market:

Street-performer juggling machetes: How's it going?

Tweeked out looking guy walking by: How's it going!? I'M BLIND!!

He wasn't blind...

- Overheard by Ali

Naked

While looking at a photography book at Powell's in which the artist had his friends lay in pitch black rooms, naked, covered with some sort of soot substance, then took a flash photograph of them...

Girl 1: These have to be photoshopped. Something is wrong with their faces...
long pause
Girl 2: ...and their bodies.

- Overheard by Lauren

Morman

Someone in the Watchmen line at Llyod center: I was morman till I was 12. Then my parents decided they wanted to drink, smoke and get divorced.

- Overheard by Marc

Sweater girl

As people were collecting their minds, bodies and material possessions after a house show. 

Young Archie comic looking girl: Ian, I can't find my ironic sweater!

- Overheard by Jordan

Conspiracy

Woman talking on her cellphone: ...that would be the perfect crime, so before I pull the trigger...

- On the #78 bus
-- Overheard by Fatima

Felidae

Middle-aged lady: Yup, that's my daughter. She wants our oldest cat to die so that it can be skinned and stuffed.

- Pioneer Place
-- Overheard by Megan