Treatment

Woman to man: Yea right... You wish you could be in treatment.

- Holladay Park
-- Overheard by Alex

Extasy

Girl to her friend: Why do you do herion dude? Everybody knows extasy is the best drug.

- Fish and chip shop in NE
-- Overheard by John

Bagged

Self-serve station in a 'cozy' Beaverton coffee place: woman's shoulder bag brushes the head of a seated woman a couple of times...


Woman fixing coffee: I'm sorry, I seem to want to keep hitting you with my purse.

Seated woman: That's okay, honey, we all feel that way some day.

- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

Ultimate

Guy on Cell Phone: You've got to decide what's more important: your job or this ultimate frisbee game.

- Laurelhurst Lobby
-- Overheard by Ted

Abuse

2 women smoking cigarettes and talking:

Woman #1: Apparently that's abuse.
Woman #2: No! You're crazy.

- Waiting for the #15 Bus
- Overheard by Rose

Culprit

Young boy holding his nose and pointing at a morbidly obese man: I think it's him.

- On the #6 bus
-- Overheard by Daniel

Wild Life

Skinny, seriously drunk guy who is flitting his arms very poorly: I’m a little birdie, I can FLYYYYY! Watch me fly.

10 footsteps later.

Professional-looking young man, exiting a building and carrying a fish in a fishbowl: Who's a good little fishie?

- Submitted by: I’m just trying to pick up my lunch

Kidnapped

Youngish woman: He's really good at kidnapping me. This one time he threw me over his shoulder when I was really drunk in Calispell and I woke up in Missoula. I got fired.

Middle-aged man: Really?

Youngish woman: Yeah, he wouldn't drive me back to Kalispell. My boss was like, 'Well, you're in Missoula'. Fair enough.

- Black Cat Cafe
-- Overheard by Charlie

Thursday

Late 30's women: Damnit! I'm never having sex on a Thursday!

- Hollywood Bowl, during kid's league with plenty of children around

-- Overheard by Alex

Next!

Man, about his ex-girlfriend: She wanted me to marry her and her fiance – you know, perform the wedding. I told her I would, but I warned her, “Well, know what I’ll say: ‘You may now kiss the bride – because I already have.’”

- At Utopia Cafe

-- Overheard by lauraf

Upgrade?

Husky, whiskey-voiced older woman talking to a handful of what look to be homeless people standing and smoking under the eaves outside the Salem bus terminal:

"So then we upgraded to a Geo Metro."

- Overheard by John

Time out

A group of 6- and 7-year-old party-goers (all boys) mobbed Chuck-E, bopping him on the nose, slapping his cheeks and pulling his tail.

Kid to his mom: Chuck-E-Cheese called a time out.

- Overheard by Pam

Dumber

"Unfortunately, he's more dumber than me."

- At The Standard
-- Overheard by Luther