Pandora let down

Man: Is that Cher on the radio, who's responsible for that?

Barista: Pandora, it pisses us off every 7th song...

- Cafe Viale, SW 6th Ave
-- Overheard by Dave

A Leak of Their Own

Two guys, two gals, high-spirited, briskly exiting the Rose Garden after the Blazers opening night win.

Guy: Man, we gotta do more of this shit! Go to Blazers games and pee on people!

- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

Deaf ear

Overheard in a CNA class at PCC:

"Sometimes you have to put in ear plugs and let your baby cry for 5 hours."

- Overheard by Gary

Better get started

Video store clerk: Those are all due back Tuesday at 10.

Dad: Emma, do you think we can watch all these by Tuesday?

Three-year-old (definitively): Yes.

Dad: Do you know when Tuesday is?

Three-year-old (just as definitively): No.

- At Movie Madness

-- Overhead by lauraf

Dino

Two bums talking to each other: Well then how many dinosaurs DO you want to kill?

- While walking down 21st Ave
-- Overheard by Nathan

Chance of showers

Three street folks walking by the MAX stop, SW 3rd and Morrison:

Guy #1: Man, who ordered this rain?
Guy #2: I did, but I ordered a side of Sun with it!
Guy #1: I'm gonna shave right here (pauses in an office building entryway).

moments later ...

Guy #1: Man, I'm getting shit on!
Gal: By a bird?
Guy #1: No, the rain!

- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

Freedom fries

Girl: If you live in Paris, you're supposed to call it 'pah-ree'
Guy: What?
Girl: That's how they pronounce it there, they don't even call the city by the right name and they live there.
Guy: Well, that's dumb.


- At Muchas Gracias while waiting for food
-- Overheard by Mike

When iPhones cry

Man is texting.

Woman: That's not your iPhone. What is that?
Man: It a Google phone.
Woman: Doesn't your iPhone cry when you do that?

- Overheard by Jeff

Semen. sorry

Two Girls, mid-twenties: ..and you actually kept the semen?

Then they both looked at me.. It was uncomfortable.. I had to keep sitting there cause the bus was full.

- On the #14 bus
-- Overheard by Josh

Dreads

Stoner talking about his crush: She doesn't have the prettiest face, but she has the longest dreads in south east.

- Somewhere near se 39 and hawthorne

-Overheard by nico

Disabled

Bus driver to 70-something guy in wheelchair: Do you want straps or restraints?
70-something in reply: Not in public.

- On Tri-Met this morning
-- Overheard by Mike

Spider sack

Two guys smoking outside of a cell phone store in Aloha: So anyway, that's when the spider crawled down and bit my nuts.

- Overheard by Katie

Fly with a Friendly Face

Old lady looking at the tail of an Alaskan Airlines jet: Is that Bob Marley?... Oh, it's an Eskimo!

- Portland Airport.
-- Overheard by Timber Ninja

One in a Million

Aging rocker dude: I've got long hair, I wear a leather jacket, I wear black clothes... I'm an original!

- MAX Yellow Line
-- Overheard by Steve

Happy Hour

Woman to man: I just got out of jail, so I went to the bar. I ordered myself a triple margarita. I'm sitting next to this guy and I tell him I just got out of jail. He says, aren't you on probation? You're not supposed to be drinking. I said to him, it's 4:30! You're not supposed to be drinking either!

- On the #15 Bus
-- Submitted by TJ

Crabs

Young Guy #1 to Young Guy #2, as they approach the urinals: Dude, how do you know if you have crabs?

- Hawthorne Fred Meyer Men's Room
-- Overheard by Noah

Denmark

Blonde girl: I've been to Denmark. That's basically the same as IKEA.

- IKEA
-- Overheard by Shea

Procedure

Guy 1: Vasectomies are cheap and easy procedures. I definitely recommend looking into one.

Guy 2: No man, I can't handle sharp things that close to my penis. Other than piercings, but that's a different story.

- Overheard by a p

Paternity

Co-worker 1: So, do you have any kids?

Co-worker 2: None that I’m aware of.

- Overheard by Kyle

Payday

Group get onto streetcar:

Girl 1: Why on Wednesday?
Girl 2: Because thats when we get our foodstamps. We're getting fucked up!

- Overheard by Sky

Blossoming Lotus

Middle-aged man and woman walking down the sidewalk outside Blossoming Lotus on Davis.

Woman: I was taking a yoga class and my breasts kept spilling out during the class.

- In front of Blossoming Lotus
-- Overheard by Shannon