Couch surfer

Chad 1: Dude, I didn't wake you up last night when I came home did I?
Chad 2: Only a little bit.
Chad 1 takes long drag from Venti Starbucks.
Chad 2: So dude, who was that girl on the couch this morning?
Chad 1: I have no idea.
Chad 2: Nice. 

- In line at Zupans
--Overheard by Amie

Texting

Woman #1: So he cheated on you... What is it you like about this guy?
Woman #2: Our texting. We can go back and forth for like hours and hours!

- Muu Muus
-- Overheard by Rich

Guns and Smartphones

Woman to group of men: We're a modern family. My nephew just got a .22 shotgun and an iPhone for his birthday.

- Nob Hill Pub

-- Overheard by Rich, who writes: "I don't know which is funnier: the notion of a .22 caliber shotgun or that kind of combo present for a kid."

Attitude-free

Angry woman on the phone: I don't have an attitude! I'm saying it's okay you want to be an asshole!

- On the Max
-- Overheard by Libby

It Is Ironic, Isn't It?

Group of teenage girls having an energetic conversation: You see why I don't get irony? It's cause of that song!"

- Overheard by Libby, who writes: "It's ironic because the only thing ironic about that song is that nothing in it is actually ironic."

Rich writes: "Hadn't heard it for years, but I played Alanis today and damn, that's good stuff!"