I Want You!

In today's episode of Portlandia, I was walking on NW 20th and Hoyt when this guy kneels down in front a homeless lady and asks me to listen.

I thought he was going to propose, but instead he said:

Mary Ann, I just met you today and your birthday is April 26. Will you become the first member of my Suicidal Army?"

You can't make this shit up!