All four food groups

Valley girl #1: Food at the theater is so expensive. It's like five dollars for a popcorn and four dollars for a soda.

Valley girl #2: Yeah, it's like ten dollars for a meal.

- Overheard by SkyB

Tractor ice

Random Black Girl: You gonna slip on that ice and fall on yo' ass! Then you gonna bounce back cuz yo' ass is so big!

- Lloyd Center

-- Overheard by Hank

Ugh!

In line outside Lincoln High waiting to hear Bill Clinton speak for Hillary for the upcoming Oregon primary:

Early 20's Young Man: I mean, the Democrats have two candidates running but the Republicans have only one. How do they expect to win with only one candidate?

His Mom: I know! It's hard to believe how incredibly stupid people can be sometimes.

- Overheard by Patrick

Alien head

Girl #1: So are you going to get alien head?
Girl #2: I mean....whatever works.

- Lewis & Clark College

-- Overheard by LAB

Don't want to be that guy

Woman on cell phone: Those blisters are a reaction to your stockings. You need to find someone to take them off.

- On the South Waterfront Streetcar

-- Overheard by Melissa Lion

STFU

Reporter, who had spent part of the event talking on his phone:
Sorry I was talking on my phone (mumble mumble)...

Audience member: Yeah, well it was really disruptive!

- At the North Portland Candidates' Forum Sunday

-- Overheard by Steve

The mall will do that

Three-year-old boy to parents at Lloyd Center: Wait! Hold on!

Dad: Hold on to what?

Boy (stopping): My energy ran out of walking.

- Overheard by Pam

Degrees of separation

Homeless guy under blanket: Dude, do you have some money?

My brother-in-law: (Shakes his head) Man, I’m married. I’ve got no money.

Homeless guy under blanket: Well I’m divorced and look at me.

My brother-in-law: (Shakes his head again) Man, I’ve got three teenagers too. You got any room under that blanket?

- Saturday night, across the street from Darcelle's

-- Overheard by Shannon

Maybe the baby daddy is in law

Woman on cell phone - Everything leading up to this was about buying a car and then she asked to talk to RJ. RJ gets on the phone and it's obvious he's a little kid what with the talk of finishing dinner before he has jelly beans and how she would be home soon. It is all very normal until:

"And when I get home, we're going to go see an attorney! Won't that be fun?"

- Heard on the 96 bus to Tualatin

-- Overheard by Micah

Dishwater blond

Stylist: That woman is crazy! She washes her hair with Lemon Joy!

Customer (laughing): You ought to put some of that shit up on your shelf.

- Bishops

-- Overheard by Rich

library flirting

At the main library downtown, waiting for a computer, a guy (mid-to-late 30's) shamelessly (and embarassingly) attempting to flirt with an 18 year-old PSU freshman (who says her R's like W's):

He: Wow, that's an amazing accent! Is it British?

She: Actually, it's a speech impediment.

- Overheard by Ellen

Knocked Up

At Fred Meyer on Hawthorne, April 16th
Tattooed hipster couple in the checkout line.

Woman: Hey, did you hear about the pregnant man in Bend?

Man: "Yes and its been pissing me off.

Woman (kind of confused): Why?

Man: Because if it can happen to him it can happen to anybody.

He was being serious...there was stunned silence...

- Overheard by Sam

Tatooine

One 6-year-old boy to another: I love you, Princess Leia.

- Burnside Powell's coffeeshop

-- Overheard by Marianna

Freddy's

Man on cell: Well, right now we're at Fredrick's.

- Hawthorne Fred Meyer

-- Overheard by Sky B

Messenger

Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing, while passing us on the street:
Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.

- NW 21st and Everett, 8:30 PM

-- Overheard by Jen

Tiny Blue Chair

Happy drunk guy: Hey, look at this place.

(we stop to look at Salon Icon)

Drunk guy: It's really small!

Us: Yeah, it is.

Drunk guy, as we walk away: Sorry for pointing that out to you!

- NW 21st and Flanders

-- Overheard by Jen

Must be the Cat Steven's songs

Saturday evening, Movie Madness. Man, woman and infant. Infant in man's arm is making funny sounds and pointing at stack of DVDs.

Woman: He wants to watch "Harold and Maude".

Man: Nobody wants to watch "Harold and Maude".

- Overheard by Sam

WTO

Saturday afternoon, outside the World Trade Center complex in downtown. Man driving bike cab. Riders are two asian women with cameras.

One of the women: What's that?

Cab driver: That's the World Trade Center. They're eeeevil.

- Overheard by Sam

Post hit

A sunny day on Alberta street, a group of people hanging out on a sidewalk surveying the scene. A car full of people cruises by with the windows down and loud music playing, intending to impress everyone around.

Guy hanging out on sidewalk (watching the car drive away): Who even LISTENS to that song anymore?

- Overheard by Miranda

Dude, I'm not voting

Saturday night, 9:00 pm. A group of 5 16-17 yr old boys in Movie Madness are in the 'New Releases' section, looking for a DVD to rent.

Boy #1: Oh, what about "Gone Baby Gone"...?

Boy #2: Oh yea...that's good. Okay, okay, who likes to see pedophiles get shot, raise your hand!

(Four boys laugh and raise their hands)

Boy #3: Dude, I'm not voting.

- Overheard by Jayne

That's great?

Customer behind me with a stack of newspapers.

Cashier: Who got in the paper?

Customer: My son.

Cashier: Wow! That's great! What did he do that was so special?

Customer: He died.

- Market of Choice.

-- Overheard by KB

Kitsch Rock

The opening band was the heavily mustached Portland based Danava. While Acid Mothers Temple was playing, Davana's bass player got into a scuffle with a fan. The following was overheard moments later.

Round Guy: What was that all about?
Skinny Guy: I'm pretty sure they were fighting over who's mustache was more ironic.
Round Guy: Yea, tough choice.

- At the Holocene Acid Mothers Temple show

-- Overheard by J

Semi-Pro

After getting a lecture from his supervisor about acting unprofessional, a co-worker said to my husband:

You won't fucking believe this. I just got chewed out for being unprofessional. Can you believe that shit?
(I could not possibly make this up!)

Living in the stone age

"There's no Wi-Fi. I can't live blog!"

- Overheard before the Merkley/Novick debate at the City Club today at the Governor Hotel

Give that man a Blue Ribbon

Girl: Do we have any soda?

Guy: We have Pabst. It's pretty much the same.

- Historic Irvington

-- Overheard by SaraFist