Zoobomber

Overheard in a car, a couple in the backseat were talking quietly when the woman, out of no where, shouts:

'Yeah...YEAH! Let's go fuck up some zoos!!!'

- Overheard by Ali

Deniable plausibility

Chola mom:
"....if they believed our story, they wouldn't have arrested us!"

- The Bins

-- Overheard by LAB

Final countdown

A well dressed lady with two kids steps onto the streetcar.

Homeless man one#1: "3 days!"
Lady: "Uh, yes. 3 days!"
Homeless man #2: "3 days?"
Homeless man #1: "3 days. Three. D-E-Z. 3 days."
Homeless man #2: "Why is it always 3? Never 4, or 5, or -(pause)-7."
Homeless man #1: "3. Like the number of gods, man."
Homeless man #2:"Oh, yeah. Amen!"
Homeless man #1: "Follow me, brother!"
Homeless man #2: "I don't follow nobody but Jesus."
Homeless man #1: "Word. Come on."

(The two men depart the streetcar)

Homeless man #1 (shouting): "2 days!"

Lady, to children: "See? In Portland, you can have an intellectually stimulating conversation anywhere."

- Portland StreetCar

-- Overheard by Seal

The business

This I overheard riding the MAX a few weeks ago:


20-something #1: "So I saw ALL his business!"

20-something #2: "SICK, SICK, SICK! (yelling)"

20-something #3: "Was, he like, selling something?"

20-something #2: "Not that kind of business you fucktard."

20-something #3: "What?!"

20-something #1: "I saw his dick you dumbshit. His dick, his balls, the whole fucking business! It was nasty."

20-something #3: "In his briefcase?!"

20-something #2: "You are so stupid."

And so it went...before they got to the part where they had to explain to the dumb one that the guy was a pervert who liked to flash people on the MAX.

- Overheard by Jenn

Well, that changes everything

Teen girl:
"Oh my god my dad was on my phone. I am _so_ in trouble."

Teen guy, turning towards her:
"Wait! Today is national alpaca day."

- On MAX

-- Overheard by Aaron

Sounds like a party

Woman on cell phone:

" ... with tequila, chocolate, and a guy in matador pants."

- In front of the PSU library

-- Overheard by Greg

Deep Water

Two middle aged women talking about why the water in West Linn tastes so bad.

Woman 1: "You know why our water tastes so bad right?'

Woman 2: "Something is wrong with our pipes?"

Woman 1: "No, they allow ducks to poop in our water. The water is kept in an open area so ducks come swim in it and poop."

Woman 2: "Oh my gosh! No wonder!"

Woman 1: "Yeah so that's why I boil my water for EVERYTHING."

Woman 2: "Oh I am going to start doing that! I don't want to drink duck poop!"


- Bus #35

-- Overheard by Jennifer, who writes: "What a bunch of idiots."

Hobo shoutings

A homeless fellow downtown near Powell's at 10 p.m., talking to himself with surprising coherence (if not sanity):

"KOOL-AID! OH YEAH!
You're going to have to get out of the back of my trailer, Kool Aid Man. I don't trust a man who busts in through the wall."

- Overheard by Abner

Dragon Breath

Stoner metalhead kid is explaining a song he wrote to some friends:
"Yeah dude I just wrote this freaking epic song, bro! So it's this really intense song called the dragon of frostfire, which now that I think about it, doesn't make any sense. The frost and the fire sorta just cancel each other out, and you have this dragon with, like, this nice lukewarm breath. it would breath on you and you'd just be like 'ahhhhh thats nice'."

"Fuck--I need to write a new song."

- At my school courtyard at lunch

-- Overheard by tobias

Overheard at the Oregonian

I just wanted to note that this blog was featured in the Oregonian newspaper today.

Thanks to all our readers and contributers!

Tweaker advice

As I'm putting on my helmet and getting on my scooter outside Powell's:

Strung Out Tweaker:
"You shouldn't ride those...those are DANGEROUS!"

- Overheard by Jordan

These boots are made for walkin'

Girl (well dressed and wearing expensive looking boots, walks up and joins the Boy at table):
"Can you tell me something?"

Boy: "Maybe."

Girl:
"Why is it that in the last two days, multiple people in wheelchairs have given me, like, the death stare?"

Boy: "I don't know. ...Maybe it's your boots."

- PSU Fishbowl

-- Overheard by Nuru

Gunner Mysteries

A mom with her 4 year old son get on the bus & sit behind a dad with his 4 year old son. The boy with his father asks the other boy what his name is. The boy with his mom is too shy to answer so his mother answers for him:

"His name is Gunner as in gun."

- On the #20 bus yesterday

-- Overheard by Francis

Positively Pavlovia

Woman, getting into car:
"It doesn't matter if it's an hour or five fucking minutes. The phone rings, and I have to pee."

- Outside Floyd's Coffee Shop

-- Overheard by b!X

Got my piece on me

Skater dude, early 20s, reeks of what I'm assuming was Body Spray, on his phone:
"Yeah, so I just drank a 40oz. and a Sparks, so I'm feelin' pretty good. Now I'm gonna go zoobomb....Do you have any herbals? I got my piece on me...I drank $90 of vodka the other night. I've been on a 2-week drinking binge. ... I gotta tell ya somethin. I'm a daddy! Oh, yeah, I already told ya..." [his phone dies in the tunnel, thankfully]

- On the MAX going into Portland @ 4pm today

-- Overheard by the Blankenships

So, she went out of town for the weekend?

"Outside my cube this morning:

Woman 1: "What did you do this weekend?"

Woman 2: "I slept with a superstar!"

- At the office

-- Overheard by Laura

Laugh a minute

Man: "Cholera is breaking out in Basra."

Woman: "Why do you say just things?"

Man: "It's here in the paper, I find it funny."

- Downtown coffee shop

-- Overheard by Brad

Mortal sin

Loud girl on cell phone:
"Girl! I went to the carnival on Lombard last night, and I spent WAY too much money."
[pause]
"No seriously, I can't tell you, I'm embarrassed."
[pause]
"OK....[long dramatic pause] I spent sixteen dollars."
[muffled shouting through cell phone]
"I know! I'm ashamed. I'm on my way to confession now."
[pause]
"OK! See you at Betty Ford's!"

- On the #17, 7:30am

-- Overheard by Junniper

You only give me your funny paper

(Homeless couple--all shouted loudly, start to finish)

Man, seated on steel-topped city trashcan:
"Well, what DO you want?!"

Woman, pacing the sidewalk in front of him:
"You know, I never wanted any Hundred-dollar shoes. I just want somewhere to LIVE!"

Man clangs lid of garbage can and erupts angrily and incoherently.

- Broadway and Washington

-- Overheard by wizzlepig

420

Smiling Woman (to me and my wife):
"Hey, do you smoke pot?"

Me: "No..."

Smiling Woman:
"Oh, ok. Because I have a lot of extra pot that I'm trying to give away." (walks away)

(She tried the next guy who walked out of Hollywood video with the same line)

- Outside Hawthorne Hollywood Video, 2 weeks ago

-- Overheard by Joel

Must be the periodicals

"Don't you know, 90% of dominatrix are librarians?"

- Overheard by Kate

Cave talk

Drunk boyfriend: "We need to plan our next move."

Drunk girlfriend: "I want to go fuck."

Guy at bar: "That's no way to start an argument."

- MuMu's

-- Overheard by Rich

No respect

"It's like no one respects us bitches, you know?"

- On th#6

-- Overheard by Aaron

no "borderline" about it

Man [in line behind woman downtown after lending her a nickel]:
You know... I'm borderline..."

Woman: "Borderline what?"

Man: "Borderline nymphomaniac."

- Rite-Aid by the square

-- Overheard by: Sweeeeeeeeeet

Who knew?

Man: "There's no such thing as vegan bacon."

Woman: "They use bacon bits, which are vegan."

Man: "Bacon bits aren't vegan."

Woman: "Yeah they are. You didn't know that?"

- Outside Wellesley Court Apartment

-- Overheard by b!X

Setting a good example

"Oh my god I don't understand why my kids aren't popular!"

- Phone conversation coming from Ladies room stall at Holiday Inn

-- Overheard by Kai

Must be something in the water

Five year old girl:
"Teenagers, and young people, are sometimes strange.... in this city".

Overheard by Meghan, who writes: "This was from a girl I was babysitting, after we heard some yelling from some boys on the street."

not YET, anyway

LOUDEST GIRL ALIVE (overheard during a full-volume concert from a full 30 feet away):
"I'm not a librarian!"

Her friend:
"Me either! Wooooo!"

- Crystal Ballroom

-- Overheard by molly

Goose Rider

(Teenage girl is sitting on a goose statue at the MAX station by Lincoln High School.)

Random guy: "It's only fair if he can ride you too."

Teenage girl: "Uhhh...."

- Overheard by Alyssa

Aint no cheap Ho

Waiting for the bus at 50th and Division, a couple crossed Division and the car at the light honked once. The woman came over to talk to the driver, the man kept walking. The woman stood there for a few moments and then walked away angrily and yelled out:

"I cost fifty dollars, not twenty-five!"

-- Overheard by Elizabeth

He happens to be a boxer

Delivery guy: "My dog likes it when you punch him in the back."

- Office building downtown

-- Overheard by Jen

Something wonderful

Woman addressing two middle-aged gentlemen:
"Excuse me. Are you two Viet Nam vets?"

Gentlemen: "Well yes we are."

Woman (extending her hand): "Thank you and welcome home."

- Westbound morning MAX

-- Overheard by Dyana, who writes:
"While I don't support the current war in Iraq, or the Viet Nam war, I do think our military men and women deserve our sincerest gratitude for laying their lives on the line in order to protect us. I was deeply moved by this woman's comment as were the veterans she thanked who may have waited nearly 40 years to hear that gratitude expressed."

The sandy wiles

Guy: "Yeah, so through the sandy wiles of the Himalayas. Didn't get a scratch on me."

- Outside my window

-- Overheard by Specklet

Learning How to Be Patient

"I'm trying to learn how to be patient but it's driving me crazy."

- Animal at the Scoreboard

-- Overheard by Kai

Anyway

Woman with bulging 23rd shopping bags #1:
"Cuz if you're poor but you STILL want to, like, fight something, what do you do?"

Woman with bulging 23rd shopping bags #2:
"Oh my god. I don't know."

Woman #1: "Anyway, we're getting the boat. the mortgage is bad, but it's a boat and we need it."

- Coffee time on nw 21st

-- Overheard by heather r

If he had a Prius, we'd cut him a break

At an intersection downtown, the light turns red and as people are beginning to cross the street, a man on his mobile in an SUV runs the red light.

Nicely dressed business man ahead of me:
"You fucking asshole! Christ! Get off your phone!"

Woman behind him: "They're just people."

Business man: "I swear, they're better off driving drunk than on the phone."

- On the corner of 6th & Taylor

-- Overheard by Dyana

Beached

Drunk middle-aged woman #1:
"You're acting like an old woman."

Drunk middle-aged woman #2:
"Well, I'll tell you. I have to go to the beach with this person and her ass is the size of a whale and she talks non-stop."

Woman #1: "Is she a friend of yours?"

Woman #2: "Does she sound like a friend of mine?"

Overhead at a restaurant by: E